That'll Teach You!

Now look here you stupid fucking coat! I don't care how much I paid for you!
When I come home from work, tired and irritated by countless northerners who think they know better than me, I just want to hang you up and sit down.
Yes, I know there's a perfectly good coat rack in the hallway but, A; I'm too lazy to go there and B; It annoys the missus when I hang you elsewhere.
So, all things considered, when I hang you on the back of a dining chair I expect you to fucking stay there! When you fall limply to the side and on to the floor, I take it as an insult.
Not content with insulting me once, you wait for me to bend down, pick you up and re-hang you on the chair, only to fall off again.
Well, that's it, bollocks to you!
You can lay in the corner of the room, where I kicked you.
All night.
Bastard.