Major Surgery

Before;

After;

I bet you'll never eat raisins again!

Quality Football Quote

John Terry talking to Sky Sports about David Beckham;
"His balls are fantastic."

Quality Film Quote #12

Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.

Dr Egon Spengler: I blame myself.

Dr Peter Venkman: So do I.

Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.

Dr Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Typical Workplace Conversation

Fucking students! They do it to me on purpose!
"Can I have a weekly zone 1&2 travelcard please?"
"No probs, £16.20 please."
"No."
"Sorry?"
"No."
"No what?"
"No, that's too much. I'm a student (no shit!), I only want zones 1&2."
"Yeah, and that's £16.20."
"No."
"What you saying no for now?"
"I don't normally pay that much."
"How much do you normally pay?"
"I don't know."
"So, if you don't know, what are you protesting about?"
"I don't want to pay that much." He's getting on my tits!
"Now look. This aint a market stall in Egypt, it aint negotiable, the price is fixed and it has been since the start of January."
These students are the future of this great nation.

Really? That's Surprising!

Claudio Ranieri has turned down the opportunity of managing Manchester City in favour of Juventus.
To put it into perspective, would you rather drive a Citroen 2cv or a Ferrari Enzo?
Thought so.

WTF?

This is the Logo for the London Olympics 2012.
London has more history, landmarks and culture than any other capital in the world and this is the best they could come up with?
What a load of bollocks!

Calling Tim Henman A Poof In

Porno Pigs

Piss

I had a very smelly piss just now.
Thank you.

Currently Reading

Recently Read

Operation

As posted previously, I have a large mole on my chest that needs removing. I now have a date for the minor surgery which is Thursday 7th June.
I would urge anyone who has type A+ blood to donate as much as possible to Leighton Road Surgery.
Thank you.

Thames Valley Police Most Wanted

You can see the look of a killer in her eyes!

My Cat The Murderer Part 2

All good horror films have a sequel and Peanut-Face is no exception.
I returned home at around 10;45pm and found a dead mouse on my doorstep (glad it was outside and not inside!)
I'm not sure where she got it from, I don't really care to be honest. I just want her to stop murdering cute little birdies and mice and leaving them all over the place!

Bad Night

I had a really shit night at work tonight.
It seems that every customer I served was deaf, ignorant or a complete spastic.
If people ask questions they should have the decency to listen to my answer. I should NOT have to repeat myself 3 times!
Students; if you only put £3 on your oyster card then it aint gonna last very long! I'm sick of you coming to my window saying "My oyster's not working, I topped up this morning." It's not working because you are all ignorant pricks to think that £3 will last all day!
Spastics covers the above 2 as well as the morons who wouldn't even be able to shit themselves without being shown how to do it.
Three times!
Tomorrow had better be an improvement, or else.

She's Mad (As Well), I Tell Ya!

This one's about my sister-in-law Emma (the same one who asked what was the spelling of C.D).
We were in Harvesters for lunch on Sunday. We order some drinks at the bar......
"I'll have a J Lo please."
Barman looks confused and says;
"A J Lo?"
"You know, the orange and passion fruit one."
Barman looks further confused and says;
"Do you mean a J-2-O?"
The look on her face was priceless.

Recently Viewed

I really enjoyed this film, despite what Gaz and Chelle thought of it.
It's based on Robert Graysmith's book of the same name and his attempt to identify the "Zodiac Killer". At two and a half hours, it's a long cinema sit in, but how else do you fit in all the relevant info?
I'm about to order the book and will gladly buy the DVD so I can watch it again in more comfort.

Getting Beaten Up In

Waiting For....

.......this game and this game to be released. The first in September, the second in October.

Quality Film Quote #11

Han Solo: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Thank Fuck For That

I have a large mole on my chest. It's always been there, forever.
But, in the last few months it's been really itchy, mis-coloured and has actually bled occasionally. Quite disturbing I'm sure you will agree.
So, today I went to the doctors, and, despite having a 4:30 appointment I finally got seen at, as near as makes no difference to, 5:00.
The doctor said she could see nothing abnormal about it (hence the title of this entry!). But she did say that as it's an irritant it should be removed.
As I said, I've always had this mole, I'm not sure I want it removed. It's part of me isn't it?

Typical Workplace Conversation

An irate italian customer approaches my excess fares window having already travelled;
"I want go out"
I check his Oyster card.
"You only have a zones 2&3 travelcard, you need £1.50 pre-pay to exit as this is zone 1."
"I pay later."
"No, sorry, You're supposed to pay before you travel. Not when you arrive at your destination or later that day."
"I always pay later. Eeet's faackeeng shieeet!"
"Yes sir, £1.50 please."
"I pay later, I go out!"
"No, it's called pre-pay, not post-pay, you'll need to pay now."
"Eeet's faackeeng shieet! I complain!"
Customer throws £1.50 into my cash tray and I top his card up.
"Here's your oyster card, touch out as normal. Here's customer service's details, you can complain about how you didn't have a valid ticket and that I made you pay."
"FAACKEENG BAASTAARDS!"

She's Mad, I Tell Ya!

The missus was having a go at me for a few items that I'd not washed or put in the dishwasher. I explained that I'd finished eating and rushed to the station to pick her up. It was the type of comical discussion of which I normally win.
Instead of being magnanimous (yes, I checked the spelling!) in defeat, she said;
"Shut up you piece of idiot!"
I guess that as long as I'm not a complete idiot, well then, that's something.

Interesting Fact

Currys don't sell curries, but Selfridges do sell fridges.

Quality Film Quote #9 & #10

Dr Rumack; Captain, how soon can you land?

Captain Oveur; I can't tell.

Dr Rumack; You can tell me. I'm a doctor.

Captain Oveur; No. I mean I'm just not sure.

Dr Rumack; Well, can't you take a guess?

Captain Oveur; Well, not for another two hours.

Dr Rumack; You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Dr Rumack; Mr. Striker, the passengers are getting worse. You must land soon.

Ted Striker; Surely there must be something you can do.

Dr Rumack; I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley.

Recently Completed

2 weeks at a maximum of an hour night, sometimes not playing at all, I don't think that's too bad.

Typical Workplace Conversation

Between a supervisor and myself over the radio.
"Are you burning toast?"
"Toast?"
"Toast."
"Toast?"
"Toast."
"Toast?"
"Yes James, toast, bread that you burn!"
"No."
If you stare at the word toast long enough does it look like the wrong spelling? It did to me anyway.

She's Mad, I Tell Ya!

This one happened in Tesco's while buying a birthday cake for my brother.
"We need to buy candles for your brothers cake."
"Why?"
"Cos it's not a cake if it aint got candles on."
"Eh?"
"If it aint got candles on, then it's not a cake!"
"Of course it's still a cake, it's just a cake that aint got any fucking candles on it!"
"EXACTLY!!"
"?!"

Interesting Fact

Despite its name, a Wood Pigeon doesn't actually contain any wood.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my big brother Paul who is 33 today. I love ya man!

I stayed up till midnight to post this and I've gotta be up at 6am so he'd better leave a thank you comment!

She's Mad, I Tell Ya!

Welcome to my new series.
"She's mad, I tell ya!" is a brand new section where I will tell you about the maddest things my missus says or does and, believe me, there are plenty.
We kick off with something she said tonight, which inspired these new entries.
We were watching the film Deja Vu which stars Jim Caviezel. I mentioned to her that I'd heard he didn't to work sundays cos he's a devout catholic, to which she replied;
"Oh well, whatever ticks his boat I suppose."

Preference

It's the FA Cup Final between Mank U and Chelshit today.
I hate both of these teams with a vengeance, so who would I prefer to win?
It's a difficult choice.
I went for Utd to win the league just to wipe the smug smile off of Fat Lampards face and wouldn't mind seeing it again. I'd also like nothing more than to see that money grabbing cunt Cashley Cole ending the season trophy-less. He didn't get on the field during the Carling Cup and so can't really say he "won it".
But, do I want those tossers from the north to win? Not in this life!
The thought of that little winker/wanker (you decide which is better) wRongaldo with his cheesy grin is also too much to bear.
So, in summary; If Utd are winning I'll cheer on Chelsea and if Chelsea are winning I'll cheer on Utd.
And, if it goes to penalties, I'll turn me Liza Minelli off.

Snails, What's The Point?

This is the most pointless creature on this planet! I've watched it for an hour now and it's gone nowhere. It's eye's are on the end of sticks for some reason, which is obviously of no use because even the most spastic of birds seem to be able to catch and eat it before it's "sticky eyes" have seen it coming. As for it's shell, well, you might as well tell a teenager that his powers can't hurt you because of the bin liner you have sellotaped to your chest. Then watch his face light up as he rams a carving knife into your heart, as seems to be the trend at the moment.
Stupid twatty mollusc.

You're Fucking Nicked My Son!

Do we really need these kind of criminals in the English game?

Box Junction

The Highway code says;
"You MUST NOT enter the box until your exit road or lane is clear."
That includes the driver of a shitty little Citroen Saxo which has been modified so much that your poxy little 1000cc engine can barely move it. If you do stop in a box junction and the lights change meaning you are now blocking my route home, do not look at me with a smirk and shrug your shoulders.
It's funny how that smirk disappeared when I said "You fucking whore's son! Is that your sisters car?"
Prick.

Admit It, You Loved This Show!

Porno Apes

orang-utan (or-ang-oo-tan) n. a large long-armed ape of Borneo and Sumatra.

Arrogance

I was on the train, waiting to leave Euston when a couple got on. They were in their 50's. The fella was pissed and swaying all over. The woman seemed stone cold sober.
The train pulled out of Euston with a jerk and the fella started to fall. Being a nice guy I caught him and stood him upright. I didn't expect a thanks from him but I didn't expect his missus to stare at me as if I'm a piece of dirt and then look away without even a nod of appreciation. O.K, I thought, no problem.
Further into the journey he lost his balance again. Once again I caught him and again his missus gave me the dirty look.
As the train stopped at Watford he again began to fall.
Did I help him? Did I fuck! I let him hit his head on the metal handrail and fall on his arse between the seats. His missus looked at me and all I could do was give her the same look she'd given me then turned away.

Quality Game Quote

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!!"
My good self when an alien came from out of nowhere on "Resistance, Fall Of Man" and killed me.
What he don't seem to grasp though is that I'll pull the plug on the fucker! That'll learn him!

Getting My Arse Kicked In

Where Is He?

My PS3 arrived a few minutes ago. But for some reason Amazon sent the game seperately. It will arrive today but I want it now! If the postman aint here in 30 seconds -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- right, that's it, he's fucking dead!

That's Magic!

I came home from work tonight to find that the dishwasher had been emptied, my bed had been made, the kitchen had been tidied and the computer had a new screen saver.
I know it wasn't me or the missus cos when I'm on late shifts I'm bone idle. Truth be told, I'm lazy when I'm on earlies too. And, the missus is on nights, which means she has less time for housework than I have for Tottenham.
The only thing I can assume then is that there's magic in the air.
Either that or my lovely sis-in-law Michelle did it while her layabout fella watched the footy.
THANKS LOVE!

Just Ordered

One of these. It should be here tomorrow!

Sick Shit From The 'Net

Reluctant Congrats

To Mank U who were crowned champions today.
Do not think for one minute we wanted you to win the league at any point, we just didn't want Chelski to win it.
To prove how much we didn't want you to win it either, we played really, really shit against Chelski just to make your nerves bad.

P.S. Don't think we didn't notice that the cunt known as Cashley Cole was missing either. Injured my arse! The money grabbing fucker knew he was gonna get slated today and bottled out.

Quality Film Quote #7 & #8

Michael Corleone; "I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

Michael Corleone; "Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

Michael Corleone to his brother Fredo in (my opinion) the best Godfather and mafia movie of them all, The Godfather part 2.

France

Me, the missus, her sister and fella went to France yesterday. We didn't really do much to be honest. I mean, what can you really do in a few hours? We wandered around Calais then went for a couple of drinks.

Good Old Blighty.

Le Seagull.

Le Grande Bierre.

Americans

It seems that I can't escape the attentions of these people anywhere.
We stopped at a service station on the way to Dover yesterday. While in line for some brekky (11 items for £8.99) an american woman kept asking me questions.
"What is that? Is it ham?"
"It's bacon."
"What's a bloomer slice?"
"A slice of bread."
"It looks like cinnomon toast. What is that?"
"Sausage meat pattie."
"What is that?"
"Pork."
"What's an item?" Are they really this stupid?
"One item from the counter, a sausage for example."
"Oh, okay. Sorry, we're from America."
"Really?" I couldn't tell from the fact they were fat and shouting.
"Yes sir. We landed this morning at o'five hundred. (Who honestly talks like that?) We're on our way to Dover to go on a cruise. It's our 50th wedding anniversary."
And then it happened. Not content with just letting it be, my bro-in-law Gaz said...
"Oh, congratulations." I looked at him, rolled my eyes and shook my head slightly, but the damage was done.
"Why thank you! Yes sirreeeeee, 50 years, all to the same guy, what a guy!"
Then the husband chipped in...
"Yeah, I'm still on my probation!"
"Oh stop! No, my husband is a diabetic. He can eat meat and eggs but not bread. Are those eggs?"
"Where are you from?" What's wrong with him? Why don't he shut up?
"We're from ba-doing-diddly-oing-idaho-united-states" It sounded like that anyway. Like that couple from Harry Enfield's show. "We're going on a cruise around the Baltic, then we're coming back to spend three days in London."
And that was it for me, I couldn't take anymore! I quickly selected the last of my items and went to pay.
They're everywhere, there's no escape. Resistance is futile.

Quality Film Quote #6

Walter Chalmers: Frank, we must compromise.

Frank Bullitt: Bullshit.

This is one of my all time favourite films, and this quote sums up everything Bullitt stood for.

New Title?

I've also been considering changing the title of my blog.
My initial instinct is to use my sub heading (Because if, anything.....) as the main title.
If you do have any ideas, feel free to comment.

New Title Backing

You will have by now noticed that my title has a new backing and you're probably wondering what the hell it is.
The rather toothy little chappy is called Vince. He's a character from a TV series called Rex The Runt.
There are some highlights from the series here.

Quality TV Quote #1

Burns: We don't have to be adversaries Homer, we both want a fair Union contract...

Homer; (To Brain) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?

Burns: ...and if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!

Homer: (To Brain) Wait a minute, is he coming onto me?

Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?

Homer: (To Brain) Oh my God! He is coming onto me!

Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bed-fellows (Friendly Laugh)

Homer: (To Brain) Arggh!

Homer: Sorry Mr Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

Sorry Andy, couldn't resist it man! I won't do it again!

Quality Film Quote #5

"Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this fucking time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way, no fucking way, no fucking way! You've made me look a right cunt!"

Ben Kingsley's "Don" in Sexy Beast.

Shiny-demon film quotes, the original and the best.

Is This Bloke Mental?

I dunno what game this fella was watching last night. He seems to think that his side were the better team.
I can assure him that they were not.
His team had less shots, made less tackles, didn't hit the woodwork and didn't have a goal ruled out (dubiously) for offside.
And, if you don't believe me, check here.
I know managers are supposed to back their players and clubs, but come on, the better side?
Me thinks not.

The Savage Beast

This morning, on my way to the station, I was savagely attacked by a hedgehog. He came flying out of the darkness at full speed, with a look of pure hatred on his face.
Look at him, you can see the evil in his eyes.

What Holiday?

Why is it that, no matter how much time you've just had off, you feel exhausted when you get up to return to work?
I've just had two weeks off, I had at least eight and a half hours sleep, so why do I feel like I need a holiday already?

It's Mine Now Bitch!

This is a geography book. It was printed in 1984. It's in bad condition and worthless. Worthless that is, on the common market.
You see, this book is the subject of furious debate between my brother and me. This book was a gift to me from my nanna. He claims it was a gift to him.
The book has changed hands more times than Pete Doherty's favourite needle. Normally via foul means.
Today I liberated (stole) the book and retuned it to it's rightful owner, me.
I'm a current day Robin Hood I am!

Congrats.....

......to my bro-in-law Gary who has completed all of his Metropolitan Police training. He has his Passing Out Ceremony tomorrow.
Well done mate, we're all proud of ya!


Updated 28/04; Here's a couple of pics of the man himself.

Rest In Peace

ALAN BALL 1945 - 2007

1966; World Cup winner with England. Third from left.

Alan played for Blackpool, Everton, Arsenal and Southampton. He made 72 apperances for England.

A true football legend and charismatic guy who will be missed.

Bad Ads #2

Those 118 fuckers are gonna get it too!

Bad Ads

Sheila's Wheels, U Switch, Volvic (with Tyrannosaurus Alan), Hastings Direct, Picture The Loan, etc.
If I ever find out who is responsible for these adverts I will hunt you down and hurt you.
Really, really hurt you.

Gone

My in-laws have just moved out. They've moved into a flat in Paddington.
It was nice to have them here but I'm really glad to have the place to ourselves again.
I wish them all the best in their new home.

Happy St George's Day!

Wreck

I'm completely wrecked.
Friday; Drank too much with my dad, ate too much.
Saturday; Drank too much at my mate Darryn's while watching the footy, continued to drink too much at my sis-in-laws bbq. Obviously, I ate too much again.
Sunday; Drank and ate too much with my brother.
Right now; Bloated, de-hydrated, shaky handed, bad headed, aching bellied, furry tongued, grumpy bastard.

Back

I'm back from my weekend away.
I'll post about it later.
When I'm sober.
Maybe.

Away

I'll be away for the next few days, so don't expect an update.

Sore Arse

I went out on my bike today. Now my arse hurts. The only way I can describe it is like the feeling you get when you've been punched.
I feel like I've been punched in my arse.
That's punched, not fisted, you dirty fucko's!

Mawf Ulfwa

I've got a mouth ulcer and it really hurts. I've had it for days.
Why am I cursed with this?
The whole world is against me.

Presently Watching

These films are classic. Real, proper comedy.

Wasp

Stripy arsed fucker that flew into my living room just now and made me panic.
If they sting you it makes you pregnant with a wasp that you'll give birth to a week later. Then your baby wasp will eat your eyes and wipe its arse on your hair.
That's true that is.

Chips

I've been to Tescos today.
I couldn't find frying chips anywhere. Can you believe that all they had were oven chips. I don't mean that all the frying chips were sold out, I mean they had NONE.
Normally I cut and fry my own chips, but I like to have some in the freezer just in case. And, lets be honest, oven chips taste like shit.
Just who the fuck do Tescos think they are anyway? Are they concerned that if they sell frying chips that some stupid fat american will sue them?
This is England. We like our chips fried thank you very much.

My Cat The Murderer

My cat has killed another member of the animal kingdom.
Yesterday she brought home a bird. The bird (or so we thought) was alive and well so we set it free in the tree across the road.
Today she brought it home again, unfortunately, this time it was dead.
I can't believe that my cute little cat, called Peanut-Face, would do such a thing.

My Weekend

It started on Friday afternoon when I got touched up by a man called Mr Lobb. Friday evening we went to the pub with Gaz and 'Chelle and got shit faced.
Saturday morning I lazed around. Saturday afternoon I watched the footy on t'internet. Then went to the pub with my dad folloowed by a chinese meal and back home for more beer.
Sunday I went for a walk in Bluebell Woods with my dad.In the afternoon we lit the bbq and drank more beer. There were ten of us here and a good day was had by all.

O.K, I Stay

After considering my options over the weekend, as well as getting rat arsed on more than one occasion, I've decided to continue my blog.
I honestly didn't now if I wanted to blog anymore.
I didn't think anyone actually read the fucker but apparently they do.
As soon as I shake off this thumping head, furry tongue, blurry eyes and mouth tasting like shit, I may tell you what I did this weekend.
Or I may just get drunk again.

He Touched My Special Place

Me and the missus went to the hospital today.
You see, we're trying for a baby and we've had no luck so far.
The missus arranged to meet a consulant to see what's happening.
So along I go, thinking they'll just ask some questions and then maybe examine the missus.
But, no.
After questioning us on our lifestyle (Erm, about 8 pints a week, honestly!) he announced "O.K, I need to examine you both now."
Whoah! Examine? Me?
And so I was sent to the coldest room in the hospital and told to take my kecks down. I always thought they only said "Cough" in the movies. He had a "feel" of my testicularianisms and then told me to get dressed. The fucker, I'd only just pulled my pants up and he opened the door and marched out, leaving me standing with my jeans around my ankles and the whole waiting room looking in!
I may also be required to give a "sample" of my love magma.
Today I had my balls felt by an old man called Mr Lobb.
Thank fuck for Jack Daniels.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Should I continue my blog?
You decide.

Erm, Good Boy?

Rover!

Good boy! You came back when I called.

Now, where's Fido?

Oh, what's that you've got boy?

Recently Watched

So Close

I'm two days away from a two week holiday. The surprising thing is that the days are flying by. That's a sure sign that the holiday will be over and I'll be back to work before I know what's hit me.

Quality Film Quote #4

"There is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh, and this is not one of them."

Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau.

Typical Workplace Conversation

A conversation between myself and a foreign customer.
"Souissa."
"Sorry?"
"Souissa."
"Sorry I don't understand you."
"I want go Souissa."
"Where?"
"Souissa!"
I hand the customer an underground map.
"Show me whre you want to go."
"No, not subway. Souissa, the country! I go from Hooston"
"From Euston you mean?"
"Yes Hooston."
"And when you say 'Souissa the country', do you mean Scotland?"
"Yes, Scoutlaynd, the country."
You couldn't make this shit up.

Nose Hair Tension Pain Thingy

For the last few days I've felt like someone is pulling on one of my nose hairs. The sensation is like a permanent feeling of pain and tension.
If you want to know how it feels, just pull one hair, any hair, until it is tight. Don't pull it out, just keep the tension there.
See, not nice is it? Imagine feeling that for days.
If anyone knows the medical term for this condition could they please contact someone who gives a shit.

Bunch Of Arse(nal)!

How, the fuck can a football team have over 20 shots on goal and not score?! Bunch of overpaid, under achieving wankers!

2 Down, Only 6 To Go

Did my second of eight shifts today. As it was a bank holiday it was like working in a graveyard. I don't expect it to get any better over the weekend either.
There was no sign of my nemesis on the way home today. Perhaps he's gone away for easter.

8 Days To Go

I'm starting my 8 day week of early shifts today.
After this run I've got 2 weeks off and it can't come soon enough.

Currently Watching

Quality Film Quote #3

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

Gladiator; Russell Crowe as Maximus to the shitty emporor Commodus.

Might As Well Read Yellow Pages

So I'm on the loo and, after a moment, it's obvious that I'm in trouble. Must've been the spicy wings I had yesterday.
Anyway, since I'm gonna be here a while I'll read something. Now, where's my Empire mag? OK, it must be outside, no worries, I'll flick through Gina's Cosmopolitan, might be a semi nude bird in the fashion bit.
No luck.
What strikes me though is the amount of adverts. And, since I'm in for the long haul I might as well count them.
116 pages out of 248 were taken up by ads, that's 46.78%!
As near as makes no difference to half.
As I said, you might as well read Yellow Pages.

Typical

It's been nice weather for the last few days. Could it last just one extra day so that I can enjoy a rest day in the sun?
Will it fuck.

Quality Film Quote #2

"You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now, behave yourself."
Get Carter; Michael Caine as Jack Carter to a rather large henchman in the pub.

Quality Film Quote

"Your mother was an animal ya son of a bitch!"
Raging Bull; Robert De Niro as Jake La Motta to a neighbour.

Last Shift Of The Week

It's a stunning day outside and I've gotta go to work. Still, at least it's the last one!

Which Is It?

What is the greatest "sit-com" of all time?
Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of sentimental FOOLS out there.
Only Fools And Whorses is no where near as funny as Blackadder or even Red Dwarf.
So, in summary, if you like "only whores" then don't post your opinion here.
Seriously, I grew up very near Peckham and people don't talk like that.
"Luverly Jubberly"
Prick.

Just Ordered