D&A Today

Today I had my first ever drugs and alcohol test. D&A, as it's known to us Underground employees, is "randomly" used to ensure that we're not junkies or piss heads.
It involves a breath test similar to those the police use and we have to provide a urine sample,
I don't mind telling you that I was quite nervous about it. I knew I had nothing to worry about. I don't get pissed if I'm working the next day and I don't take drugs. What made me nervous was the "Sit here, read this, this is what we are going to do, this is what you are going to do, sign this, etc."
Do you think I could piss?
Could I fuck. Four glasses of water and 20 minutes later I finally managed it.
Anyway, I'm still a London Underground employee as my breath test was clean as a whistle (how clean are whistles anyway?). My urine results should be back and very clean next week.
By the way, I love the way the form has "appointment date" on it. As if we'd mutually agreed a date and time.