Typical Workplace Conversation

I was covering a meal break on the gate line, when a customer approached me and shows his ticket.
"Excuse me, can I go through the luggage gate? I've got a heavy suitcase."
"Sure mate, just push the top right hand corner of the gate when you hear the alarm."
He pulls the gate.
"No, push the top right corner mate."
He pushes the top left of the gate.
"No mate, push the top right corner of the gate."
He touches the Oyster card reader, which isn't even attatched to the gate.
"Hello!"
He turns.
"Push the top right hand corner of the gate."
He tries to pull the gate again.
"Where's your right hand mate?"
He waves it at me.
"And where's the gate?"
He points at it.
"Now, locate the top right hand corner of the gate and push."
Finally, he gets it right.