Intersting Fact

When sitting on the toilet at home, presumably having a shit, I face 272 degrees west.

Interesting Fact

A cricket bat is made from blended and compacted; crickets and bats.

Interesting Fact

Fox's Glacier Mints are made from baby foxes.

Interesting Fact

Moth hunting is the most popular of French sports.
It is not uncommon to see French men dressed in fox outfits, armed with baguettes, swinging wildly in the Parisian night.

Interesting Fact

Our beloved cat Peanut-Face got her name because I was drunk and shoving peanuts in my gob when we were deciding what to call her.
Although, why the missus agreed is unknown.

Interesting Fact

Orange jam is called Marmalade. The word Marmalade is an Anglo-Saxon word that can be broken down like this;
Marmalade.
Marma-Lade.
Mumma-Lade.
Mumma-Laid.
Orange jam, it's laid by mumma innit.

Day Trip To Southend

Tuesday was the missus and my own rest day and we decided to make a day of it. We jumped in the car and headed to Southend. We'd never been there before and it wasn't as bad as people have said to us in the past. We walked along the worlds longest pleasure pier, along the beach and then visited the Sea-Life Centre. Despite the amount of clouds around, the weather held out really well, with only one downpour in the 4 hours we were there. We also had Wimpy for lunch, the missus saw it and that was it, Wimpy or nothing! End of Southend Pier looking towards land.
Blue skies above the beach.
These Bad Boys were looking for the next Steve Irwin.
A Sea-Horse. They're all gay you know. Fact.
Me surrounded by Pirhanas.

Interesting Fact

Worms are baby snakes.

Interesting Fact

It is impossible to put your left earphone in with your right hand.
And vice-versa.

Interesting Fact

Dolphins are ladyboy sharks.

Interesting Fact

It is illegal to poke crabs with a pointy stick.
The punishment for such a crime is to have several crabs lubricated with Vaseline and placed into your pants.
So, the next time you're on the beach, pointy stick in hand, think twice.

Interesting Fact

The thought of becoming a father is scaring me.
Georgina will save me though, she always has.

Interesting Fact

Wasps are bald bees.

Exercise Is Bad For You

And I have conclusive proof.
I recently bought an exercise bike. Primarily for the missus while she's pregnant, but also for me.
Now, this morning I weighed my self. I was 13 st, 2 1/2 lb. (I know, I'm a fat fuck.)
Then I jumped on the exercise bike for 45 minutes and kept my revolutions up to 100 per minute. By the end of it I was a sweaty, jelly legged version of my former self.
After a nice hot bath I was curious to know if there would be even the slightest difference to my weight.
There was, 13 st, 3 1/2 lb.
I've put on a pound! Just through exercise!
By this theory, at the end of next month I'm gonna be 15 st, 7 1/2 lb.
Conclusive proof, I'm sure you'll agree, that exercise is bad for you.

Interesting Fact

Zebras are black and white because they were invented before colour T.V.

Interesting Fact

Upsetting badgers was a popular sport in the 90's. The most popular way to upset a badger was to throw Werther's Originals at them.
Badger Upsetting has been illegal since 1999 after that old cunt from the Werther's Original advert complained to parliament about the "Un-natural waste of a jolly good sweet."
Probably.

Interesting Fact

In English law, it is a legal requirement to have a blind chinese woman in every court room.

Interesting Fact

The official spelling (as outlined by the National Turkey Society) of a turkey's noise is "Lbmlbmbblmblbmblbmlbmbl".

Interesting Fact

Tottenham Hotspur are no longer unbeaten against Arsenal with Juande Ramos as their new manager.

Interesting Fact

Tottenham Hotspur are unbeaten against Arsenal with Juande Ramos as their new manager.