Saying Goodbye To Peanut-Face

We're taking our beloved cat Peanut-Face to be re-homed today.
Unfortunately, I've developed an allergy to cats, despite having them all my life. The constant allergy attacks and blowing my nose has made me develop bleeding nasal polyps. I've had to have several painful cauterization sessions in an attempt to cure them.
She's a really good cat and we'll all miss her terribly. I hope she finds a good family who will show her as much love and get as much pleasure out of her as we have.
See ya Peanie XXX.

Treated Like Animals? If Only!

Yesterday we had to take Matt and Peanut-Face for some jabs.

Matt had a 13:55 appointment for his meningitis jabs, he was finally seen at 14:20.

Peanut-Face had a 16:00 appoinment for her booster jabs, she was seen at 15:55.

Matt has another set of jabs, for measles, mumps and rubella, in four weeks time.
I'm wondering if the vet can do them.

Peanut Allergy

A viable option? Not likely.

I went for an allergy test today, as it's been driving me mad, on and off for about 5 years now.
It turns out that I'm allergic to cats!
I don't understand how I've only become allergic to cats in the last few years or so, I've had them all my life.
It's not a severe allergy, but it can leave me sneezing non-stop for a couple of days and give me a runny nose like a water main.
There's no way I'm getting rid of Peanut-Face, but she is now banned from our bedroom.

Our beloved (and allergen filled) cat; Peanut-Face.

Sleeping Like A Baby? Not Me!

Young Matty has finally gone through the night!
Fair enough, the missus has been topping him up with camomile infused water, but this is a vast improvement on the norm. He normally wakes at around one o'clock and four o'clock for milk.
But (and you knew there'd be one) this has come at a price.
After he started to stir at around the one o'clock mark, the missus began her "Operation Camomile". In order to do this, it meant putting the little chap into bed with us. Only he's not so little in bed. He seemingly takes up half of the bed. And, of course, the missus needs to lie next to him, which leaves me with about four inches of bedspace.
Now, I could slither down a bit and have my legs dangling out of the bed. But, this would put my feet into no-mans land. You see, Peanut-Face only has to hear the sheets rustle and she's got her teeth clamped onto your big toe in an instant. I'm sure she's some kind of Ninja / Cat hybrid.
The solution?
Well, I tossed and turned for four hours, catching the odd bit of kip. But I gave up at around five o'clock and got up. Two hours before I needed to.
Excellent

My Cat The Murderer

On monday night, our beloved Peanut-Face brought home a mouse. The only problem was that it was still alive. As I was at work, it fell into the missus' hands to run around, with Matty in one hand and an empty chocolate box in the other. She eventually caught it and released it out the front of the house.
Learning her lesson, Peanut-Face decided to ensure that the on she brought home on wednesday night was dead.

Change My Arse Too Daddy!

One Armed Bandit

I've learned to do a lot with one arm, since Matty seems to be permanently attached to the other. Below is just a sample.

1; Eat and Drink.
2; Type.
3; Turn numerous gadgets on/off/over.
4; Wash.
5; Make up Matty's bottles.
6; Cook.
7; Feed Peanut-Face.
8; Dress.
9; Annoy the Missus.
10; Piss.

Fattus Cattus

The other day I picked up our beloved cat Peanut-Face and thought "Fuck me, she's heavy!" I put it down to holding Matty for the last few days. He's quite heavy so I guessed I'd under-estimated her weight.
Today the missus took Peanuckle-Head to the vets for her booster jabs. When the vet checked her over he told the missus she was overweight and we were to cut back on her treats.
I'm just glad I'm not the only fat fuck in this house now!

Interesting Fact

Our beloved cat Peanut-Face got her name because I was drunk and shoving peanuts in my gob when we were deciding what to call her.
Although, why the missus agreed is unknown.

She Sings Like An Angel

The other day a bird (and I mean the feathery type) landed on our neighbours roof. Peanut-Face caught a glimpse of the bird and started making some very odd noises.

Undecided

The hedgehog situation has yet to be resolved.
To be honest, I don't know what I should do.
He's not hurting anyone out there. If I take him to the woods up the road he'll probably just come back and I was only joking about the rusty shovel across the head. There are some people I'd like to do that to, but not a defenceless creature.
What's worse is that we've now given him a name (I keep using him, it could be a her), we've called him Hendrix after the rock god. This has given him a kind of "pet" status, which is making the decision awkward.
Besides, it's kinda cool having a hedgehog in the garage.
Isn't it?
I'm thinking of arranging a boxing match between him and Peanut-Face, but he'll probably win on points.
Sorry.

That's Just Plain Nasty

Where as this photo makes Peanut-Face look like a whore, it appears that her eating habits aren't very pure either.
I've just seen the dirty little bitch catch and eat a fly.

Realistic Puma T-Shirt

Fuck knows how they got the cat to stay still. I've been trying it with Peanut-Face but she's having none of it.

Oops

This is our new catflap. The old one broke as it was permanently being wedged open as our beloved Peanut-Face was too lazy to push it open herself.
I was determined that this wouldn't be the case with the new one.
I've made it my mission this week to teach Peanut-Head how to use it.
While trying to force her through, I encountered some resistance. I assumed she was pushing back with her front paws so I changed my grip.
Now I was holding her so she couldn't push back, still I encountered resistance.
Not to be outdone by a catflap I pushed harder, to the point where Peanut hissed and growled at me. I let her go thinking something was wrong with the catflap.
On inspection it appeared that I hadn't unlocked it and for the last minute I had been ramming my cats skull into a locked flap.
She seems to be avoiding me at the moment.

7:00pm 21st March 1998

Ten years ago today, my life changed.
Someone came into my life on a permanent basis and has made me the man I am.
It was a friday, 7pm and she walked through the doors of The Thornbury Castle pub on Enford Street, Westminister.
We'd known each other for a few years before, but I'd waited until we were a bit older before I asked her out. You see, I knew she was the one from the moment I set eyes on her and I didn't want to ruin it with a meaningless childhood snog.
She wore a stunning black dress with a flower pattern going up the left (her left) hand side, I wore a sickening (hindsight is a fucker!) green and black Ben Sherman shirt.
I was limping because I'd come off of my football injury caused crutches early for the date. Some might say that this is the reason I never played again. I gave up the game I loved for her!
I took her to an Italian restaurant on Baker Street. She had lasagne and I had steak. I thought I was cool because I payed by cheque! Debit cards were not that popular then.
We went to the cinema and saw As Good As It Gets. At the end of it we kissed for the first time. In the darkness our teeth clashed, but only gently.
I walked her home and we kissed again before she left me for the evening.
I was high as a kite, overjoyed, elated, on cloud nine, over the moon, ecstatic, I could go on forever.
Since our first date a hell of a lot has happened in our lives. Some good some tragic, but it's made us what we are today.
Right now we have a mortgage, a cat called Peanut-Face and most importantly, we are expecting our first child in September.
I know that I wouldn't be the man I am today without her love, encouragement, influence and inspiration. All that I am and have, I owe to her............
Kronenbourg 1664 - She Makes You A Man.
I'm kidding of course.
Gina, when you read this, I love you so much. Every day I picture us with our future child and I think;
"I did fuckin' well there!"
Happy 10th Anniversary my love.

A Crazy Catnip Christmas

Peanut-Face enjoying her catnip treats.

Peanut-Face 10 minutes after enjoying her catnip treats.

Spot The Cat

Our beloved cat Peanut-Face.

Also known as; Pine-nut. Fuck Off. Peanuckle-Head. Get Down. Pheobe. Leave That. Oi! And my personal favourite; Stop Scratching That Fucking Couch!

My Cat The Dog

I went to the corner shop tonight to pick up a few bevvies and my cat followed me all the way there and back.
This is not the first time it's happened either. The first time she did it, I thought it was a one off. Since then she's done it about 8 times.
So, I must be one of the few people in the world to take their cat for a walk.
Miaow.

My Cat The, Erm, Pilot?

It appears that my missus is giving our beloved cat Peanut-Face some flying lessons.
While making the bed in the spare room, she picked up the neatly folded quilt and threw it across the room so she could put the base sheet over the mattress.
Seconds later a (slightly stunned) cat emerged from the now messy pile of quilt in the corner, looked up at her and ran out.
Unfortunately I didn't witness this incident, in fact my attention was only drawn by the missus shouting;
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you alright?"
Peanut-face didn't comment.
I can only imagine what she would have said.

My Cat The Murderer Part 3

It seems that Peanut-Face is the new "Zodiac".
She now has 3 kills to her name that I know of, fuck knows how many other corpses are scattered around Leighton Buzzard!