The Missus just turned to me and asked;
"What does 'campanology' mean? Is it to do with gays?"
Showing posts with label The Missus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Missus. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Introducing Daisy
Born at 22:49, 11 / 11 / 2010, 6lb 15oz.
Mother and daughter doing great....
.....not sure about me though!
D Is For Daisy
It's all go this morning.
We're getting ready to go to the hospital so the missus can have her labour induced.
After reading the information provided, I'm doubtful that Daisy will actually make an appearance today.
Only time will tell.
We're getting ready to go to the hospital so the missus can have her labour induced.
After reading the information provided, I'm doubtful that Daisy will actually make an appearance today.
Only time will tell.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
The Final Countdown
We're into our final week as a one child family. Baby Daisy will be with us sooner than seems possible.
Next Thursday, 11/11/2010, at 11:00am the missus will have labour induced. Whether or not Daisy will make an appearance that day is another matter!
It's not been an easy pregnancy for the old girl either. She's had to go on a diet due to Gestational Diabetes. If that wasn't enough, she developed a pregnancy related rash on her face and neck. Add into the mix my stupidity, general ignorance and D.I.Y related rages and you can see the amount of shit she's had to deal with.
It seems like only yesterday that I posted this and now we're in the final countdown.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock........?
Sunday, 22 August 2010
She's Mad I Tell Ya!
I get in from work and the Missus is ironing in the kitchen.
"Fuckin 'ell love, it's roasting in here. Why don't you iron in the living room?"
"I've nearly finished now. I had the window open earlier, but I closed it 'cos it was too see-through."
"Erm, yes. That can be a problem with windows can't it?!"
"Fuckin 'ell love, it's roasting in here. Why don't you iron in the living room?"
"I've nearly finished now. I had the window open earlier, but I closed it 'cos it was too see-through."
"Erm, yes. That can be a problem with windows can't it?!"
Monday, 28 June 2010
Big Mistake
O.K. It's hot at the moment.
I'm laying in bed watching the football with the fan on full blast at the base of the bed.
The missus is on a night shift, so with no fear of being shouted at, I let out a rip roaring fart of epic proportions.
I mentioned that the fan was on at the base of the bed right?
Well, I just got a face full of my own foul smelling arse.
Nice. No wonder the missus shouts at me!
I'm laying in bed watching the football with the fan on full blast at the base of the bed.
The missus is on a night shift, so with no fear of being shouted at, I let out a rip roaring fart of epic proportions.
I mentioned that the fan was on at the base of the bed right?
Well, I just got a face full of my own foul smelling arse.
Nice. No wonder the missus shouts at me!
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Morning Sickness
I've absolutely no fucking idea why it's called "Morning Sickness".So far as I can tell it last's all day and night.
I feel desperately sorry for the missus. Although she's not actually being sick, the permanent nausea is getting her down.
I love you babe, this'll be the last time, I promise!
Oh, What's Occurring? (Welsh Accent)
Usual shit really.
Work, eat, sleep, play with Matt, etc.
We saw the midwife this week. Unfortunately it's the same one as last year and, my god, she's ugly!
She looks like a man in drag!
A very ugly man in drag!
Anyway, that aside, things seem to be progressing well with the pregnancy so far.
We've got an estimated birth date of 12th November, which is also my niece's birthday!
Matt continues to develop rapidly himself.
Every day is a new experience with him and he has us in fits of laughter.
He's started to string words together too, a few examples;
"Where bottle is?"
"Where's gone now?" (Usually when I go for a shit)
"Come on daddy/mummy"
"Hi Matty!" (When looking in the mirror)
Work is work.
It always has been work.
It always will be work.
I got around to buying a pipe.
The missus called me an idiot.
She's probably right!
Work, eat, sleep, play with Matt, etc.
We saw the midwife this week. Unfortunately it's the same one as last year and, my god, she's ugly!
She looks like a man in drag!
A very ugly man in drag!
Anyway, that aside, things seem to be progressing well with the pregnancy so far.
We've got an estimated birth date of 12th November, which is also my niece's birthday!
Matt continues to develop rapidly himself.
Every day is a new experience with him and he has us in fits of laughter.
He's started to string words together too, a few examples;
"Where bottle is?"
"Where's gone now?" (Usually when I go for a shit)
"Come on daddy/mummy"
"Hi Matty!" (When looking in the mirror)
Work is work.
It always has been work.
It always will be work.
I got around to buying a pipe.
The missus called me an idiot.
She's probably right!
Monday, 22 March 2010
Recently Viewed
This film was right up my street. Really enjoyed it.
BIG YAWN!
Yeah, I enjoyed this one. Kind of a flip on the alien visiting earth type thing.
After 5 minutes, I turned to the missus and said "I bet DiCaprio is the real nutter."I was right!
I remember seeing this film as a kid. It's still not funny.
I remember seeing this film as a kid. It's still not funny.Sunday, 14 March 2010
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Did He Think I'd Let It Go?
Yesterday I was walking along the road and talking to the missus on the phone. As I was talking a rather fat bloke (yes, fatter than me!) stepped in front of me, put his hand up and started to talk to me.
"Excuse me."
I indicated that I was on the phone but he persisted.
"Excuse me."
"Sorry, I'm on the phone mate."
I walk past him. He waits till he thinks I'm out of ear shot.
"Yeah, you carry on fucking talking!"
I tell the missus to hang on and turn around. He has his back to me now, walking away.
"Oi!"
He turns to face me.
"What's your fucking problem? I'm on the phone you arrogant dick!"
He opens his mouth and is about to say something.
"Bollocks! Fuck off you cunt!"
Just to hammer home my annoyance, I throw in some rude hand gestures.
He stands there, mouth open.
I turn and go back to my phone conversation.
"Excuse me."
I indicated that I was on the phone but he persisted.
"Excuse me."
"Sorry, I'm on the phone mate."
I walk past him. He waits till he thinks I'm out of ear shot.
"Yeah, you carry on fucking talking!"
I tell the missus to hang on and turn around. He has his back to me now, walking away.
"Oi!"
He turns to face me.
"What's your fucking problem? I'm on the phone you arrogant dick!"
He opens his mouth and is about to say something.
"Bollocks! Fuck off you cunt!"
Just to hammer home my annoyance, I throw in some rude hand gestures.
He stands there, mouth open.
I turn and go back to my phone conversation.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
It's Over
Christmas that is.
I finished work at around 2pm on Christmas eve. I popped over to my mates house to exchange presents. And drink beer, obviously.
I made sure I arrived home by 7pm so I could see Matt before he went to bed. Matt had been suffering from a nasty cold, but he seemed to be perking up at the right time.
At 5:30 on Christmas morning, the missus tried to be clever. She went and got Matt and put him bed with us, thinking we'd all wake up together later in the morning. A nice idea, but she didn't take into account that moving him would wake him up. And he stayed up! So, up got the missus and Matt, while I stayed in bed till 7:30. Nice!
We opened our presents together, my pile seems to be getting smaller every year.
Matt wasn't really interested. Once he'd opened his first present he sat there ans played with that. The missus and myself opened the rest, saying things like; "Wow! Look at this Matthew!" But he continued to ignore us and play with his new cars instead!
We got dressed and headed over to my mum's for breakfast. Bacon sandwiches all round! I don't mean that the sandwiches were round, I mean everyone had one.
We dropped mum at her friends house and came home.
The missus had said she was doing christmas dinner for once, so I put Matt down for his nap and chilled until my brother, his missus and my dad turned up. We were supposed to be joined by my mother and father-in-law. Unfortunately my father-in-law was unwell and they didn't make it.
The food and drink flowed into the evning and our guests departed around 7:30 pm. The rest of the night was spent chilling in front of the T.V.
On Boxing day, we headed to London to see the in-laws who'd not made it for dinner. Again, more drink and food flowed.
The missus was at work all day on Sunday so it was just me and Matt. I've never had such a good day with him! He was in top form the whole day. I didn't want to put him to bed!
We relaxed all day Monday. We dropped Matt at my mum's around 5:30pm and came home. The missus caught up with some work and ran around getting shot on Call of Duty 2.
I was back at work yesterday for the first of 5 late shifts. I've got a weeks annual leave (Again? I know!) from Sunday.
So, like I said; Christmas = OFFICIALLY OVER!
I finished work at around 2pm on Christmas eve. I popped over to my mates house to exchange presents. And drink beer, obviously.
I made sure I arrived home by 7pm so I could see Matt before he went to bed. Matt had been suffering from a nasty cold, but he seemed to be perking up at the right time.
At 5:30 on Christmas morning, the missus tried to be clever. She went and got Matt and put him bed with us, thinking we'd all wake up together later in the morning. A nice idea, but she didn't take into account that moving him would wake him up. And he stayed up! So, up got the missus and Matt, while I stayed in bed till 7:30. Nice!
We opened our presents together, my pile seems to be getting smaller every year.
Matt wasn't really interested. Once he'd opened his first present he sat there ans played with that. The missus and myself opened the rest, saying things like; "Wow! Look at this Matthew!" But he continued to ignore us and play with his new cars instead!
We got dressed and headed over to my mum's for breakfast. Bacon sandwiches all round! I don't mean that the sandwiches were round, I mean everyone had one.
We dropped mum at her friends house and came home.
The missus had said she was doing christmas dinner for once, so I put Matt down for his nap and chilled until my brother, his missus and my dad turned up. We were supposed to be joined by my mother and father-in-law. Unfortunately my father-in-law was unwell and they didn't make it.
The food and drink flowed into the evning and our guests departed around 7:30 pm. The rest of the night was spent chilling in front of the T.V.
On Boxing day, we headed to London to see the in-laws who'd not made it for dinner. Again, more drink and food flowed.
The missus was at work all day on Sunday so it was just me and Matt. I've never had such a good day with him! He was in top form the whole day. I didn't want to put him to bed!
We relaxed all day Monday. We dropped Matt at my mum's around 5:30pm and came home. The missus caught up with some work and ran around getting shot on Call of Duty 2.
I was back at work yesterday for the first of 5 late shifts. I've got a weeks annual leave (Again? I know!) from Sunday.
So, like I said; Christmas = OFFICIALLY OVER!
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
This Week Needs Smacking Like A Bad, Bad Donkey.
Where shall I begin?
Well, lets start from last Thursday, as it was possibly the worst day
of my life.
On Thursday morning I went to work. To say I was running around like a
blue arsed fly is an under-statement. Even though I was only on a
poncy spare duty, I was late getting out of work. Then, when I got to
the train station, I found out that the 13:13 was cancelled. That
would have got me to my home station in 30 minutes, instead I had to
catch the 13:34, which takes 50 minutes. So I got home 40 minutes late.
As if that wasn't enough, I later found out that my Great Aunty Lena
had passed away.
Still, that wasn't enough! I phoned the missus only to find out that
she was in the A&E department of her hospital. One of her dickhead
colleagues put a syringe in the "sharp bin" upside down. The misses
pricked her finger with it and needed all sorts of precautionary jabs.
On Friday, I took my mum and brother to see Great Uncle Les. He looked
terrible. He's in his late 80's and slowly being consumed by
asbestosis of the lungs. He's lost his best friend and wife and we
fear for his future.
Saturday passed without incident.
Sunday; Arsenal, Chelsea, nil, three, shit.
Monday saw my father-in-law being taken to hospital. It seems that
some of the heart medication he's on is affecting his stomach ulcer
quite badly.
Tuesday passed without incident.
Wednesday; Matt broke my T.V today! In a bizarre mop/toy incident he's
managed to crack the screen. Waiting to hear if our insurance will
cover it.
A real fucker of a week, I'm sure you'll agree.
Tomorrow is Great Aunty Lena's funeral.
Fingers crossed that everything goes uphill after that.
Well, lets start from last Thursday, as it was possibly the worst day
of my life.
On Thursday morning I went to work. To say I was running around like a
blue arsed fly is an under-statement. Even though I was only on a
poncy spare duty, I was late getting out of work. Then, when I got to
the train station, I found out that the 13:13 was cancelled. That
would have got me to my home station in 30 minutes, instead I had to
catch the 13:34, which takes 50 minutes. So I got home 40 minutes late.
As if that wasn't enough, I later found out that my Great Aunty Lena
had passed away.
Still, that wasn't enough! I phoned the missus only to find out that
she was in the A&E department of her hospital. One of her dickhead
colleagues put a syringe in the "sharp bin" upside down. The misses
pricked her finger with it and needed all sorts of precautionary jabs.
On Friday, I took my mum and brother to see Great Uncle Les. He looked
terrible. He's in his late 80's and slowly being consumed by
asbestosis of the lungs. He's lost his best friend and wife and we
fear for his future.
Saturday passed without incident.
Sunday; Arsenal, Chelsea, nil, three, shit.
Monday saw my father-in-law being taken to hospital. It seems that
some of the heart medication he's on is affecting his stomach ulcer
quite badly.
Tuesday passed without incident.
Wednesday; Matt broke my T.V today! In a bizarre mop/toy incident he's
managed to crack the screen. Waiting to hear if our insurance will
cover it.
A real fucker of a week, I'm sure you'll agree.
Tomorrow is Great Aunty Lena's funeral.
Fingers crossed that everything goes uphill after that.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, 2 October 2009
2 Weeks Annual Leave
Last week we were on holiday near Clacton-On-Sea. I was pleased to find that we were about half an hour away. We stopped there for lunch before checking in and it was a cross between god's waiting room and chav city.
The weather was fantastic. It was slightly overcast on Thursday but it remained t-shirt weather.
We took Matty swimming in the mornings, which he loved. He also enjoyed the kids club.
We made a trip to Walton-On-The-Naze and had lunch in a traditional Pie and Mash shop. I wasn't suprised to see Matty enjoying it, after all, I grew up on the stuff. Like father, like son and all that.
All in all, it was a really nice short break.
This week I've been relaxing and enjoying the company of The Missus and Matty.
Matty's really developing quickly these days. He points at what he wants now, which has reduced the amount of guess work. He's also started trying to talk but it's all jibberish, a bit like this bloke!
It was also my 32nd birthday last weekend. On Saturday I went for a meal with family but it was difficult to enjoy as I'd had a terminal headache since 6am that morning. On Sunday I went on the piss with my dad.
The only negative point was that I had to do an early shift at work on Thursday, as I owed them a day's leave.
Back to work on Tuesday. Late shifts. Yay.
The weather was fantastic. It was slightly overcast on Thursday but it remained t-shirt weather.
We took Matty swimming in the mornings, which he loved. He also enjoyed the kids club.
We made a trip to Walton-On-The-Naze and had lunch in a traditional Pie and Mash shop. I wasn't suprised to see Matty enjoying it, after all, I grew up on the stuff. Like father, like son and all that.
All in all, it was a really nice short break.
This week I've been relaxing and enjoying the company of The Missus and Matty.
Matty's really developing quickly these days. He points at what he wants now, which has reduced the amount of guess work. He's also started trying to talk but it's all jibberish, a bit like this bloke!
It was also my 32nd birthday last weekend. On Saturday I went for a meal with family but it was difficult to enjoy as I'd had a terminal headache since 6am that morning. On Sunday I went on the piss with my dad.
The only negative point was that I had to do an early shift at work on Thursday, as I owed them a day's leave.
Back to work on Tuesday. Late shifts. Yay.
Friday, 25 September 2009
She's Mad I Tells Ya
So we're on the M25, heading to our holiday in St Ostyth/Clacton and the missus spots a road sign.
"Why's it called the Dartford Tunnel?"
"Erm, cos it's a tunnel in Dartford, dickhead."
"Why's it called the Dartford Tunnel?"
"Erm, cos it's a tunnel in Dartford, dickhead."
Sunday, 20 September 2009
A Welcome Break
Today is the first day of my 2 weeks annual leave and it couldn't have come quick enough.
I've been really run down for the last few weeks and on Wednesday, I caught a cold.
It goes without saying that I've passed the cold on to Matty, luckily it's not a nasty cold, but it's still a pain in the arse. Well, eyes, nose, throat and chest anyway!
Tomorrow, the missus, Matty and myself are leaving for a short break by the sea. I honestly can't wait. I think it's important to have a change of scenery, even if it's to the not very exotic Clacton!
It's just me and Matty today as the missus has gone to work. We were supposed to go to Andy's son's second birthday party, but have been unable to do so due to the car being needed by the missus. I apologise profusely for cancelling.
That's about it for now, I'm just transferring some films and kids T.V shows to my iPod for our break.
I've been really run down for the last few weeks and on Wednesday, I caught a cold.
It goes without saying that I've passed the cold on to Matty, luckily it's not a nasty cold, but it's still a pain in the arse. Well, eyes, nose, throat and chest anyway!
Tomorrow, the missus, Matty and myself are leaving for a short break by the sea. I honestly can't wait. I think it's important to have a change of scenery, even if it's to the not very exotic Clacton!
It's just me and Matty today as the missus has gone to work. We were supposed to go to Andy's son's second birthday party, but have been unable to do so due to the car being needed by the missus. I apologise profusely for cancelling.
That's about it for now, I'm just transferring some films and kids T.V shows to my iPod for our break.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
The Curious Incident Of The Bin In The Night.
Yesterday morning, when I rolled out of bed at 11:15, I was greeted with "Why did you put the recycling bin in the bathroom?" from the missus.
"You what now? Why the fuck would I put the recyc' bin in the bog?" Came my reply.
I'll spare you the rest of the conversation, but suffice to say we both deny responsibilty. Her argument that it was full of my empty beer cans, doesn't wash with me though!
You may recall this incident from a while back.
You may also remember other instances of oddness such as this and this.
I think I'd better arrange an exorcism!
"You what now? Why the fuck would I put the recyc' bin in the bog?" Came my reply.
I'll spare you the rest of the conversation, but suffice to say we both deny responsibilty. Her argument that it was full of my empty beer cans, doesn't wash with me though!
You may recall this incident from a while back.
You may also remember other instances of oddness such as this and this.
I think I'd better arrange an exorcism!
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Where Does The Time Go?
Time has just been flying by of late. I wish I could tell why, but I can't.
The only worthwhile thing to tell is that Matt can now walk. And boy does he walk! I looked after him on Saturday and Sunday and my legs are still aching now!
As previously reported, Matt came down with a nasty cold. The doctors prescribed Tamiflu without even seeing him. We'll never know if it was actually Swine Flu, which is annoying. The missus has also been unwell of late and I am currently suffering from a really sore throat. I'm desperately hoping it doesn't turn into Tonsilitis.
In other news, my iPhone arrived very quickly after my threat of leaving O2 and I love it! I'm a little disapointed with the battery life, but that's a small price to pay for the mobile of the gods!
My diet is still on, amazingly! I've got down to under 13 stone for the first time in years. I'm aiming for 12 stone and then I'll start running.
The football season is nearly upon us. I'm predicting that Arsenal will win fuck all as usual.
The only worthwhile thing to tell is that Matt can now walk. And boy does he walk! I looked after him on Saturday and Sunday and my legs are still aching now!
As previously reported, Matt came down with a nasty cold. The doctors prescribed Tamiflu without even seeing him. We'll never know if it was actually Swine Flu, which is annoying. The missus has also been unwell of late and I am currently suffering from a really sore throat. I'm desperately hoping it doesn't turn into Tonsilitis.
In other news, my iPhone arrived very quickly after my threat of leaving O2 and I love it! I'm a little disapointed with the battery life, but that's a small price to pay for the mobile of the gods!
My diet is still on, amazingly! I've got down to under 13 stone for the first time in years. I'm aiming for 12 stone and then I'll start running.
The football season is nearly upon us. I'm predicting that Arsenal will win fuck all as usual.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Visiting Nanna
Yesterday (it is 00:20 now) I went to see my Nanna in hospital.
When my dad and myself arrived I could have burst into tears. I'd been told she was down to six stone, but it didn't prepare me for seeing her that frail.
My childhood memory of her is a tall, well built lady. Not fat mind you, I don't want her coming up here and clipping me round the ear!
Despite being 84, having terminal cancer (that's really hard to acknowledge, let alone type) and a chest infection which has seen her in hospital for the best part of two months, she seemed in good spirits.
When we first arrived she was short of breath, but with the help of some oxygen, she soon started chatting away. And with all her marbles too.
Just before we left, my uncle Ian arrived. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw him. He seemed surprised by my hair thinning and weight adding abilty. I was surprised he was dressed in full leather biker gear! In fairness, he does have a bike!
I fully intend to to down and see Nanna again while I'm off. Hopefully I'll be able to take The Missus and Matty too.
Love ya Nanna, xxx.
When my dad and myself arrived I could have burst into tears. I'd been told she was down to six stone, but it didn't prepare me for seeing her that frail.
My childhood memory of her is a tall, well built lady. Not fat mind you, I don't want her coming up here and clipping me round the ear!
Despite being 84, having terminal cancer (that's really hard to acknowledge, let alone type) and a chest infection which has seen her in hospital for the best part of two months, she seemed in good spirits.
When we first arrived she was short of breath, but with the help of some oxygen, she soon started chatting away. And with all her marbles too.
Just before we left, my uncle Ian arrived. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw him. He seemed surprised by my hair thinning and weight adding abilty. I was surprised he was dressed in full leather biker gear! In fairness, he does have a bike!
I fully intend to to down and see Nanna again while I'm off. Hopefully I'll be able to take The Missus and Matty too.
Love ya Nanna, xxx.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Recently Viewed
I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this film. Not sure how it can be classed as a kids film though, it's very dark and disturbing towards the end. Parental discretion is advised!Can't wait to watch it again, will view it with the missus this weekend.
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