Finally, An Update!

Thought I'd better get my arse into gear and give you'se lot an update.
I've just returned to work after 2 weeks of annual leave.

We went to CenterParcs for the first week. Matty is a bit too young to enjoy it fully. Still, he managed to occupy himself by chasing ducks
with his arms wide open and shouting "Oi, duck, cuddle!" He did enjoy the swimming pool area, although getting him dressed afterwards was a fucking nightmare! The weather held up okay, all be it a little chilly in the evenings. I managed to use my bike on most days, which I really enjoyed. I'd wait for Matty to have his afternoon nap, then go for a ride, usually stopping for a pint at some point.

The second week of leave involved back breaking labour. I had to rip
out a huge flower bed. And I mean huge. 10 metres long, 2 metres wide and 1 metre deep. That's a lot of earth and soil to move! Not to mention the wooden frame, plant life and roots that had to be torn out. After the first day I was in agony, I'd obviously tweeked a nerve in my right arm. But, like the brave warrior I am, I continued to dig, rake, pull, push, lever and carry for 4 days and it's mostly done now.
The next stage will be putting up a fence, followed by some decking. I might put some pictures up here if I can be arsed.

I understand that congratulations are due to the England cricket team for winning the World Cup 20/20. I fucking hate cricket, so bollocks to that.

I understand that congratulations are due to Chelsea for winning the double. I fucking hate Chelsea, so bollocks to that.

I understand that congratulations are due to the Tories who, thanks to a hell of a lot of stupid people, won the General Election. I fucking hate the Tories so bollocks to that.

That'll do for now, see ya!

Setanta Goes Bust

Good, the robbing cunts!

We All Follow The Arsenal

Last night I took the missus to the Arsenal match against Hull City.
We were gonna meet up with a good mate before the match, but he was held up by some dick at work. Fortunately, we managed to squeeze a pint in at half-time.
I agree with everything he has posted himself, so if you want to know more, I'll hand you over to my good mate Andy.

This Is Andy Murray

He's the British number one.
He's always injured.
He's the Darren Anderton of tennis.

Run Forrest, Run

Me, the missus and Peanut-Face would like to say a huge GOOD LUCK to Teresa, who is mad enough to be running 26.2 miles in tomorrow's London Marathon.
Unfortunately I'll be working and won't be able to go and cheer her on, but I'll be thinking of her.
Bearing in mind Roger Bannisters four minute mile, she should finish in 1 hour, 45 minutes.

Leighton Town 1 - 4 Chesham Utd

Despite the scoreline, the game wasn't one sided.
Fifth placed Chesham Utd seemed to score all four of their real oppertunities on 10, 60, 64 and 70 minutes.
Leighton had a few chances of their own but failed to convert until 80 minutes which was too little too late.
The result has ended any real hopes of Leighton Town making the playoffs this season.
On saturday we play Evesham Utd who are top of the league.

Exercise Is Bad For You

And I have conclusive proof.
I recently bought an exercise bike. Primarily for the missus while she's pregnant, but also for me.
Now, this morning I weighed my self. I was 13 st, 2 1/2 lb. (I know, I'm a fat fuck.)
Then I jumped on the exercise bike for 45 minutes and kept my revolutions up to 100 per minute. By the end of it I was a sweaty, jelly legged version of my former self.
After a nice hot bath I was curious to know if there would be even the slightest difference to my weight.
There was, 13 st, 3 1/2 lb.
I've put on a pound! Just through exercise!
By this theory, at the end of next month I'm gonna be 15 st, 7 1/2 lb.
Conclusive proof, I'm sure you'll agree, that exercise is bad for you.

James Blunt, He's Not Such A Cu*t

Two things I discovered by watching Top Gear last night.

1; Despite having a squeeky voice and giving us shit music, James Blunt is actually a top fella. He was the "Star in a reasonably priced car" and during his interview with Jeremy Clarkson he seemed really funny. He even took the piss out of himself.

2; Lewis Hamilton is also a funny little fucker. He's not faster than The Stig though.

Appropriate Joke

What's the difference between England and Lewis Hamilton?
Lewis will still have a McClaren this morning!

Thanks to my mate Marlon for this one!

All I'm Saying Is.......

.....that fucker Hamilton had better do the business tomorrow!
What a shit week to be english!

COME ON ENGLAND!!

I'm really fired up for this!
In Wilko we trust!

Best Of Luck

To the English rugby team who take on South Africa in the Rugby World Cup Final tonight.

To Lewis Hamilton, who takes on that dodgy spaniard Alonso tomorrow.

I'm right behind ya lads!

Congratulations!

To the England teams! We battled hard against the french to make it to the rugby world cup final.

We cruised to a 3-0 win over Estonia in a fairly boring game.

And me, I spent eight and a half hours drinking. No wonder my tongue feels like Ghandi's flip-flop.