The End Is In Sight

I'm coming to the end of a run of late shifts.
They've been very testing this week and I've nearly lost my rag with dozens of customers. Thankfully, I've managed to bite my tongue and not react to their stupid actions, questions or comments.
I don't think working right through my weekend off last week has helped. Still, at least the fence is up now. Just need to put a gate on it.

Seperated At Birth?

Liev Schreiber; famous for being a Hollywood film star.

Warren Joffre Williams; famous for, erm................. wearing Speedos?

T-Shirt Sun Tan!

Finally, An Update!

Thought I'd better get my arse into gear and give you'se lot an update.
I've just returned to work after 2 weeks of annual leave.

We went to CenterParcs for the first week. Matty is a bit too young to enjoy it fully. Still, he managed to occupy himself by chasing ducks
with his arms wide open and shouting "Oi, duck, cuddle!" He did enjoy the swimming pool area, although getting him dressed afterwards was a fucking nightmare! The weather held up okay, all be it a little chilly in the evenings. I managed to use my bike on most days, which I really enjoyed. I'd wait for Matty to have his afternoon nap, then go for a ride, usually stopping for a pint at some point.

The second week of leave involved back breaking labour. I had to rip
out a huge flower bed. And I mean huge. 10 metres long, 2 metres wide and 1 metre deep. That's a lot of earth and soil to move! Not to mention the wooden frame, plant life and roots that had to be torn out. After the first day I was in agony, I'd obviously tweeked a nerve in my right arm. But, like the brave warrior I am, I continued to dig, rake, pull, push, lever and carry for 4 days and it's mostly done now.
The next stage will be putting up a fence, followed by some decking. I might put some pictures up here if I can be arsed.

I understand that congratulations are due to the England cricket team for winning the World Cup 20/20. I fucking hate cricket, so bollocks to that.

I understand that congratulations are due to Chelsea for winning the double. I fucking hate Chelsea, so bollocks to that.

I understand that congratulations are due to the Tories who, thanks to a hell of a lot of stupid people, won the General Election. I fucking hate the Tories so bollocks to that.

That'll do for now, see ya!

What A Dick!

Currently Reading

12 Week Baby Scan

We had or 12 week baby scan today.
We have a 'birth date' of 18th November.

Dramatic Chipmunk

Currently Playing

Dairylea Is For Little Girls

Happy St. George's Day

And bloody proud of it!

Quality Film Quote #37

"They call me Mister Tibbs!"

Too classy to put here in words alone.

Morning Sickness

I've absolutely no fucking idea why it's called "Morning Sickness".
So far as I can tell it last's all day and night.
I feel desperately sorry for the missus. Although she's not actually being sick, the permanent nausea is getting her down.
I love you babe, this'll be the last time, I promise!

R.I.P Tommy

I was saddened to hear that my good mate Tommy Ludford had passed away this weekend.
I've no idea how many times we shared a beer (or eight) and/or a chat together (far too many to count), all I can say is that he will be badly missed by a hell of a lot of people.
I feel especially sorry for his daughter Tasha, who found him.
I know exactly what she's going through as I found my uncle's body.
I still have bad dreams to this day.

Oh, What's Occurring? (Welsh Accent)

Usual shit really.
Work, eat, sleep, play with Matt, etc.


We saw the midwife this week. Unfortunately it's the same one as last year and, my god, she's ugly!
She looks like a man in drag!
A very ugly man in drag!

Anyway, that aside, things seem to be progressing well with the pregnancy so far.
We've got an estimated birth date of 12th November, which is also my niece's birthday!



Matt continues to develop rapidly himself.
Every day is a new experience with him and he has us in fits of laughter.
He's started to string words together too, a few examples;
"Where bottle is?"
"Where's gone now?" (Usually when I go for a shit)
"Come on daddy/mummy"
"Hi Matty!" (When looking in the mirror)


Work is work.
It always has been work.
It always will be work.


I got around to buying a pipe.
The missus called me an idiot.
She's probably right!

Leg Jigglers #7

Location; Train
Source; iPhone
Action; Full on leg jiggle!

She's Mad I Tells Ya

This one came from my mum tonight. She was in the back of our car, telling us what she'd brought back from her trip to france.

"I've brought a sausage back."
"What, just one sausage?"
"Yeah, a garlic sausage."
"Just the one?"
"Well, half a whole one."
"What do you mean 'Half a whole one'? Either it's a half or it's a whole one mum."
"It's half a garlic sausage, you know, the big ones."
"Oh, I've got you now."
"Yeah, I've brought two of them back."
"What? Wait, hang on a minute. Are you telling me you've brought two half garlic sausages back, or two whole sausages back?"
"Two, half sausages."
"Then you've brought a whole one back. Fuckin hell mum, you're hard work!"

Recently Viewed

This film was right up my street. Really enjoyed it.

BIG YAWN!

Yeah, I enjoyed this one. Kind of a flip on the alien visiting earth type thing.

After 5 minutes, I turned to the missus and said "I bet DiCaprio is the real nutter."

I was right!

I remember seeing this film as a kid. It's still not funny.

Here We Go Again!

The missus is up the duff again!
Yay me and my super sperm.

Typical Workplace Conversation

Sometimes my participation isn't the mad part of the customer interaction

"Morning."
"Hello, my mum's here for the next few days and I want to get her a Pay-As-You-Go Oyster card."
"Sure, no problem. It's £3 deposit for the card, plus the amount you want to add on."
"Can I put £10 on please?"
"Yep, that'll be £13 in total then please."

The customer pays and we say thanks to each other.
Before leaving, the woman turns to her mum, smiles, hands her the Oyster card and says;

"Here, Happy Mother's Day you old cow!"

The timing was perfect and I nearly fell of my chair laughing.