More Success

My Piers Morgan abuse made it into Cunts Corner.

Where's Mine Then?

British Gas advert;

"Four free energy saving light bulbs for every customer.
Giving Britain the green light to save energy."

Where are my free light bulbs?

Robbing bastards.

Here We Go Again

Big brother 17 (or whatever series we're on) is already being advertised.
It is, therefore, my responsibility to remind anyone who watches this show, is a complete fucktard.
I don't actually mind if these fools want to waste their time with this piss poor excuse of entertainment, what does annoy me is when people ask me "Did you watch Big Brother last night?"
My reply will be (as always) "No, I'm not a cunt."

A Voodoo Upon You

The following people are getting on my nerves;

Mark Lawrenson - When this cunt commentates, I feel like chucking my telly through the window. Eg; U.S.A's Freddie Adu wastes a free kick; "That was much 'Adu' about nothing." You're not funny, you're a big nosed cunt.

Piers Morgan - Are we surprised that Jeremy Clarkson punched him in the face? Not at all. This smug, sarcastic, un-funny cock monkey deserves everything he gets. Including syphilis.

Amanda Holden - Les Dennis is better off without this mole faced whore. She's never, ever buzzed before one of the other "judges". Copycat tramp.

Davina McCall - Because Big Brother is just around the corner.

Places Where I Hurt

I just want to get off of this D.I.Y merry-go-round.

Sweet, sweet beer eases the pain.

An Answer To My Problems?

I'm considering having this done.
All this D.I.Y is wrecking my already piss-poor knees.

One More Shift Before The Work Starts

Today is my last shift before I start 2 weeks holiday.
It's 2 hours longer than normal too as I agreed to go in early to assist with the potential footy crowds.
I say I'll be on holiday, but in reality I'll be working harder than if I was at work.
I'll be doing the bathroom up.
New sink, tiling, flooring, plumbing for the new shower and whatever else needs doing.

Deep joy.

Because It's Still Funny

Noticed this on Holy Moly's "Cunts Corner".

One of the comments suggests that everyone knows someone at work called Dave.

I don't, do you?

Insult To Injury

Thanks to my mate Warren, who brought these to my attention.

Loving the bottom one the most.

Whoops! Dropped My Banana Skin.

Can you help me find it before someone slips?

Whoops! Too late.

Credit Card Statement

Previous Statement Balance £80.33
Payment Received £80.33
Interest Charged £0.00
Outstanding Balance £0.00
Minimum Payment £0.00

To reach your account by 16/06/2008

That now gives me an extra £100 to spend on myself every month!

Feeling The Heat

What the fuck is it with travel agents?
I've never been in one where the temperature is below boiling point.
Exactly what are they trying to achieve?
Are they trying to make me think I'm on holiday already?
Do they think that feeling the heat will make me long for a sunny place and immediately hand over my credit card to buy 2 weeks in the carribean?
How do the staff put up with it for eight hours?

I want answers, now or eventually!

Currently Listening To

Genius.

Quality T.V

This is one of the few things that the missus and me both enjoy watching. Well worth a look, Friday 10pm on Five.

Mmmmm, Pizza

The following things must never be added to a pizza.

Mushrooms.
Pineapple.
Fish.
Sweetcorn.
Dogshit.

I've never actually seen the last one on any menu, but I'm sure it's vile.

Recently Completed

An outstanding addition the GTA franchise.

Just need to kill all those bloody pigeons now.

New Arsenal Kits?

I'm not sure if these are real or fake, just to stir up interest.
I have to say, I'm not keen on the red one, the sleeves should be fully white in my opinion.
Loving the yellow one though, spirit of Anfield '89 and all that.
Only time will tell if they're genuine images.

Fur T.V Clips

New Milan Bench Warmer Speaks

D'OH!

Asked if winning the title would have made a difference, Flamini told the News of the World: "That would have weighed in the balance. It would certainly have counted.
"I actually wanted to sign a new contract at Arsenal last July but it didn't happen. AC Milan did so much to sign me I couldn't refuse.
"What happened to us after leading the league for so long was the most painful experience I had during four years at Arsenal."

So, you've left a team that finished 3rd in England to join a team who will finish 5th in Italy?
Good luck getting past Andrea Pirlo, Clarence Seedorf, Massimo Ambrosini and Ivan Gennaro Gattuso.

They've Got The Big Time Blues

Good!
If only they'd won.
And scored another 20 goals.
Can't see them winning on the 21st either.
I hate them, almost as much as Spurs.