Recently Viewed

This is the film for you if;
A) You like improbable (sorry, impossible) stunts.
B) You like films with no storyline.
C) You like bad acting.
D) You don't believe that the Die Hard franchise should have been left alone after the original.
A seriously piss poor attempt at a film I'm afraid.

Also Currently Playing

Currently Playing

The referees in this game are wankers! I've played three games and I've had a player sent off in two of them!
And, I lost to Newcastle.
I'm a disgrace!

Currently Watching

Right, That's Fucking It!

Right here, right now!
I'm making a stand for men everywhere.
If you live with a woman, then it's most likely her who selects what shampoo is used in your house.
This morning I washed my hair with "Rose Hip & Jojoba" shampoo (exactly what the fuck is jojoba?). The other day I used another shampoo that made me smell very fruity indeed.
I'm going around smelling like one of those men who like other men and I can't let it go on.
The next time we go shopping, I'm gonna go to the shampoo section. I'll open every bottle until I find one that smells like diesel.
Who's with me?

Not Sure I Should Laugh At This

Goodbye Old Friend

I'm really sorry to so the back of this show.
But, can someone please tell what the fuck was with the final episode?
I can only assume that they left it like that in case they decide to make a film or another series in the future.

Recently Viewed

Excellent. A little bit sentimental at the end but a fine film none the less.

Last Night & This Morning

Last Night;
Kebab Guy "Do you want chilli sauce and salad?"
Me "Chilli sauce and some of those chillies please."

This Morning;
The Missus "Are you gonna be long in there love?"
Me "Yes, I'm afraid so."

Bye-Bye Big Jaw!

Spurts have sacked their manager Martin Jol.
I have to say that I'm disapointed, I was hoping that he'd take them down to the Nationwide first!
Signing on in the morning
You're signing on in the morning
Signing on in the mooooorning
You're signing on in the morning
etc
etc
etc

Typical Workplace Conversation

I've only been back two days and already I'm dealing with idiots.
"I've got a weekly bus pass, can I use that on the tube?"
"No, sorry."
"Why?!" (I hate it when people ask this rudely)
"Because it's a bus pass. Bus. Pass. It's a pass, for the bus. The clue's in the name mate."

7-Up

That's Arsenal, who battered Slavia Prague 7-0. Fabregas played another blinding game.

Theo licked his lips at the taste of sweet success!

All Good Things Must End

I'm going back to work today after 2 weeks annual leave.
What's worse is that I'm going back to late shifts.

Even More Success!

My Katie and Peter rant has also made it on to Cunts Corner.

Quality Film Quote 22

Xerxes: Consider the fate of your women.
King Leonidas: Clearly you don't know our women! I might as well have marched them up here judging by what I've seen.

Katie And Peter: Unleashed

Chewing gum for the brain.

More Shit Music

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
We're only gonna do your dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Would Sean Kingston please, please imitate his lyrics on this one.

Recently Viewed

Worth a look, it's Event Horizon for a new generation.

Shite. Obviously chosen by the missus!

D'oh!

I was out shopping with the missus and she said that she needed some pumpkin seeds. We were already in the correct aisle, so I set off for them. I grabbed a packet and threw them into the nearest trolley, assuming that the missus had followed me. I turned to go and get something else but was stopped by someone saying "Wrong trolley". I turned in the direction of the voice to see a total stranger with a packet of pumpkin seeds in her trolley.
I looked back up the aisle to where we'd started and the missus was standing there laughing at me.
I sheepishly removed the seeds from the stranger's trolley and made my way quickly to the next aisle.
What a dick I am!

For Fuck's Sake!

It has become blatantly obvious this week, that if I wish anyone good luck they will lose.
Let's just hope that you don't go for a promotion soon.
And, if you do, don't tell me.
I must be jinxed!