Homer Knows Best #4

"Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems."

Be Ashamed, Very Ashamed

Man U and their fans should feel utterly ashamed of themselves.
For sure, you beat us 4-0.
But Tottenham scored 5 against us, and they really are shit.

The "Cock" Bird

While walking to the station this morning I was verbally abused by a bird of some kind. It's not the first time this bird has hurled abuse at me either. On a regular basis I hear his taunts, always the same.
"Cock."
"Cock."
"Cock."
I don't know what his problem is or if he insults other people too. What I do know is that his constant use of the word cock in my direction is very distressing.

Hockey Player Gets Throat Slashed

Apparently the player lost 5 pints of blood, nearly a third of his blood in total.
He is recovering well according to Sports Illustrated.

Quality Film Quote 26

Martin Brody: You're gonna need a bigger boat.


Roy Scheider 1932 - 2008

Stupid Bitch

Today I was sitting on the train with my iPod, trying to decide if I should listen to The Who or watch an episode of Red Dwarf. While there was no sound coming through the earphones, I overheard the conversation of the couple sitting opposite me. It went like this;

"I need to get a new phone."
"Why?"
"I find this one complicated."
"How?"
"It's too easy to use, that's what makes it complicated."

It was all I could do to stop myself punching her in the middle of her face.
I swiftly selected The Who and listened to Baba O'Riley very loudly!

The Camden Fire

I got these pictures from the BBC website.
This fire meant it took me 3 hours to get home.
I arrived at Euston and had just sat on the train when they announced that services had been suspended. I went back to the concourse and hung around for about 45 minutes waiting for information. When it became apparent that services were not going to resume soon, I made a decision.
I caught the Metropolitan line to Watford Met and then took the 20 minute walk to Watford Junction where services were operating.
Here comes the kick in the teeth......
The train I caught at Watford Junction was the first train they allowed to depart from Euston! I could have stayed where I was and had a couple of pints.
Bugger.

Interesting Fact

Zebras are black and white because they were invented before colour T.V.

Recently Played & Completed

This game is so much fun. At the end it asks if you want to play again on a more challenging level. To which I said to myself "Damn straight! I'm off to save the universe again!"

Recently Viewed

She's Mad I Tell Ya!

Last night I climbed into bed with the missus. Unfortunately she was asleep as we are on opposite shifts.
So, I turned on the telly and watched a re-run of Shooting Stars.
About halfway through the show, she sat bolt upright and said;
"Well, you'd better go and get some more then hadn't you!"
Then she laid back down and ignored my "What do I need to get?"

Don't Call Me Boss

What is the current trend of everyone calling everyone else boss?
I get it all day. It doesn't matter if I'm at work, buying something or scratching my arse. Everyone is boss this, boss that, it's driving me mental.
For the record; I'm not your boss and if I was, then I wouldn't be for long. I would sack your arse the first chance I got because you are such an annoying dick!

More Shit Music

Adele - Chasing Pavements

should i give up
or should i just keep on chasing pavements
should i just keep on chasing pavements
ooooohhh
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where

What the fuck is she on about?! Chasing pavements? Utter shit.

I Hate This Message

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Could it be any more vague? Why don't they just say;
"Well it could be us, it could be you, we just don't know and can't be arsed to give you a decent reason anyway. Why not dick around with your settings and completely fuck your internet browser up?!"

Red Dwarf - Tongue Tied

If you don't hear from me for a while, it's because I'm copying the entire Red Dwarf collection to my iPod.

Seven

7 shifts of the late variety are about to attack again.
7 shifts of depression and misery.
7 shifts of hardly seeing the missus.
7 shifts of a fucked up sleep pattern.
7 shifts with no football.
7 shifts of drunken, stupid questions.
7 shifts until my next day off.

I bet you wish that you were me!

Churchill

Not the wartime prime-minister, he was a god.
Those fucking Churchill insurance adverts. You know the ones where some northern twat is "randomly" called from the audience to ask the foam dog a question.
These adverts seriously fuck me off and as a result, I will not be insuring my car with Churchill again. I would rather pay an extra £50 a year just to avoid the "Fuck me, these cunts insure my car and pay for the advert with my money!" feeling.

Homer Knows Best #3

Homer; Public transport is for jerks and lesbians!

Leighton Town 0 - 0 Bedworth Utd

Leighton Town failed to take advantage of the extra man.
Bedworth had their Number 8 deservedly sent off after 40 minutes. Moments after being booked for dissent, he hacked down a Leighton player. As if that wasn't bad enough, before the ref could blow his whistle the Bedworth man clattered into another Leighton midfielder.
The second half saw Leighton pile on the pressure with number 9, Ben Gallant, wasting three good chances to put The Reds in front. He wasn't the only guilty party though. Number 4, Scott Thomas, and number 15, Chris Johnson both missed glorious chances to claim all three points.
There's no doubt that this was a case of two points dropped.

That'll Be A Nice Nice Mars Bar

This is the wound left in my brothers side after his appendectomy. (Yes, I checked the spelling!)