Pain In The Arse (Well, Back Actually)

Yesterday I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my back and it's absolute agony.
Why do injuries and illness only happen when I'm on holiday or a long weekend?
I needed to completely finish the bathroom this weekend and unless there's some improvement by sunday, it aint gonna happen. This will result in me having to do it on another weekend off and I only have another two before the baby is supposed to arrive.
I'm also going to a wedding reception tomorrow and won't be looking forward to it if I'm in a constant state of discomfort.
Who'd be me eh?

Recently Viewed

I...... erm...... well...... just don't bother.

Appreciation

Now and then, shit like this happens.
When it does, I know I'm in for a hell of a week.
Today is Monday, the busiest day of the week. Everyone wants their weekly travelcard or pay-as-you-go topped up. Not to mention the countless tourists who have just arrived in the area. Add into this a load of Oyster card replacements and you've got yourself one hell of a queue.
Needless to say, I worked my arse off this morning and afternoon. By the end of my duty I was tired, mentally exhausted, red eyed and had a mouth as dry as Ghandi's flip flop. I just wanted a quick getaway to clear my head, but what came was even better.
My Supervisor and pal Barry came into the Ticket Office and handed me a copy of an e-mail he'd sent to the managers office. It was a nomination for a "Thanks To You" award. I was only doing my job and didn't expect this at all. What was most greatly appreciated though, was when Barry gave me a firm handshake, looked me in the eye and said "Thanks for all your hard work today James, we really appreciate it." Words of gratitude like this go a very long way and I left work rejuvenated and very upbeat. It is the simple face-to-face thanks like this which is, in my opinion, far too often overlooked by London Underground.
Whether I get the award or not isn't important. Like I said, sometimes shit happens and you just have to deal with it. Like today.
And probably tomorrow.
Come to think of it, Wednesday's looking like a bitch too!

Forward This E-Mail Or.........

You know the ones, "Forward this e-mail or; you'll never have sex, you'll have bad / good luck, your teeth will fall out, someone will rape your cat, we'll come around to your house and inject you with ebola." O.k, I made the last three up, but you get my point.
Whoever writes these things (I suspect a greasy, spotty, teenage, friendless, self abusing yank) is a complete spaz. And anyone who actually forwards them is just as bad.
Do they really believe that my refusal to forward a shitty e-mail will result in some terrible voodoo being sent my way?
And, if I do forward it, are they so sure that my sex life will increase ten-fold?
Grow up or fuck off and die.
Forward this blog entry or you will be killed to death by rabid chickens on acid.

Thanks, But I'll Stay Up this End

Yesterday, the missus and me went to a class for parents to be.
We discussed labour, childbirth and pain relief options.
Then we watched a video on birth.........
..............yuk!
When my kid is born, I'm gonna be well away from the business end of things. I shall tentatively mop the missus brow with damp flannel while she hurls abuse at me.
I'm also gonna advise the midwife to wear a baseball glove. When the head's out, the rest of the baby comes shooting out quicker than me running to the bar.
And that's really quick.

Day Trip To Southend

Tuesday was the missus and my own rest day and we decided to make a day of it. We jumped in the car and headed to Southend. We'd never been there before and it wasn't as bad as people have said to us in the past. We walked along the worlds longest pleasure pier, along the beach and then visited the Sea-Life Centre. Despite the amount of clouds around, the weather held out really well, with only one downpour in the 4 hours we were there. We also had Wimpy for lunch, the missus saw it and that was it, Wimpy or nothing! End of Southend Pier looking towards land.
Blue skies above the beach.
These Bad Boys were looking for the next Steve Irwin.
A Sea-Horse. They're all gay you know. Fact.
Me surrounded by Pirhanas.

Suitcase Compass

I work in a busy tube station, next to a busy rail terminal and I see a lot of suitcases.
Disturbingly though, I'm noticing an increasing number of suitcases with cheap, nasty compasses in the handle.
Why?
I mean, if you are in to "adventure" holidays where you'd need a compass, you're hardly going to take a cheap wheely suitcase with you. I can just imagine a couple getting lost in the desert or jungle.
"We're lost George! I told you we should have gone left at the last sand dune / elm tree!"
"Hang on darling, all is not lost. There's a compass in the handle of this cheap, nasty suitcase I've been dragging around. Matalan have really saved the day."
To be honest, I doubt that the compass would find north, even it was three metres from the pole itself.
Maybe it's for the airport, perhaps it points the way to the bar. In which case, I'm off to buy one now.

Currently Listening To

Old Skool Ska!

Interesting Fact

Worms are baby snakes.

Quality Film Quote # 29

Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

Dear Foreign Person In The Street

I don't know anyone in the following countries;

Albania, Australia, Bangladesh, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, China, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Republic, France, Gambia, Germany, Ghana, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Iran, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Kenya, Latvia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nigeria, Pakistan, Philippines, Poland, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Thailand, Trinidad, Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, USA or Zimbabwe.

Now, will you please stop thrusting your chavvy "discount" phone card in my face!

Currently Re-Viewing

I always loved this show, although the missus won't watch it. She reckons it's "Fucked up." So, I've transferred them all to my iPod and watch them on the train to work.

Excellent Beer Advert

Go Here.
Wait for the lady to appear, then ....
1. Write your first name in the 1st line.
2. Write your surname in the 2nd line.
There's no need to write your e-mail address.
3. Press the VISUALIZAR bar.

Thanks to my mate Darryn for this one.
If anyone can translate what's being said, please leave it in the comments.

My Kinda Guy

Last night a few of the fellas from work went on the sauce to watch the footy and say farewell to a colleague who's leaving us. This fella kept turning up and serenading us. Sorry about the video being sideways but I'd had a few by then!

Aaaarrrgh! (Or However Pain Is Spelt)

This morning I dropped a heavy glass lid from one of my saucepans onto my right big toe.
Needless to say, the air was turned a very rich shade of blue!

Recently Bought

A Led Zeppelin Baby grow for my baby, obviously.
Only 10 weeks to go!

A composite AV cable for my iPod. I can now watch stuff I've downloaded onto my iPod straight onto the T.V. Cool, eh?

Recently Viewed

Fairly average as far as cop films go. A bit predictable and a sense of "I've seen this before in another film".

Tarzan, Stargate, The Land That Time Forgot and The Lion King all rolled into one.

A comedy that revolves around a tradgedy. An excellent film although, I didn't see any swans or ice cream in it.

This Is Gonna Get Me In Trouble

I may be deleting this post as soon as I get a texted death threat from the missus.
Anyone who knows her will know that she's not very graceful. The newly born Bambi on ice skates would be less clumsy.
And that was before she was six and a half months pregnant.
You see, now she's "large with child" (I had to choose my word carefully then), my missus doesn't sit down, she flops into position and hopes for the best. She doesn't get in to bed, she takes a running jump. She doesn't turn over at night, she does a triple back flip and uses the pillow as hobby horse.
I haven't slept right through the night for weeks.
I'm tired, oh so tired.
But I guess that's a sign of things to come.

Hooray For The Return Of

It's just too bad that this cunt was on it;

I can't stand this fucking twat. Every time I hear his voice, I fell like ramming a rusty screwdriver through each ear. I also feel like gouging my eyes out with a plastic spoon.

The word cunt just isn't strong enough for him.

Interesting Fact

It is impossible to put your left earphone in with your right hand.
And vice-versa.