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My Boy Was Born On This Day

Today marks my son Matthew's first birthday.
I love him more every day.

It is also the missus birthday, I love you babe!

Intersting Fact

When sitting on the toilet at home, presumably having a shit, I face 272 degrees west.

The Lack Of Excitement Is Boring Me!

Absolutely nothing has been happening in my life apart from work, Matt and sleep.
Something better happen soon or I'll go mental!

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Stripy Arsed Lawn!

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Funny, a real piss take out of typical chick flicks!

Funny as fuck!

Shit.

Shitter than shit.

Where Does The Time Go?

Time has just been flying by of late. I wish I could tell why, but I can't.
The only worthwhile thing to tell is that Matt can now walk. And boy does he walk! I looked after him on Saturday and Sunday and my legs are still aching now!
As previously reported, Matt came down with a nasty cold. The doctors prescribed Tamiflu without even seeing him. We'll never know if it was actually Swine Flu, which is annoying. The missus has also been unwell of late and I am currently suffering from a really sore throat. I'm desperately hoping it doesn't turn into Tonsilitis.
In other news, my iPhone arrived very quickly after my threat of leaving O2 and I love it! I'm a little disapointed with the battery life, but that's a small price to pay for the mobile of the gods!
My diet is still on, amazingly! I've got down to under 13 stone for the first time in years. I'm aiming for 12 stone and then I'll start running.
The football season is nearly upon us. I'm predicting that Arsenal will win fuck all as usual.

Men Who Wear Ugg Boots

Stop it, you look like a cunt!

For All Your Farting Facts

Click here.

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Coming Today!

The Apple iPhone 3G-S.

Update; It turns out that O2 are out of iPhones at the moment and won't get any until thursday at the earliest. I told them if mine's not here by next friday, I'll be an Orange customer.

Here Piggy Piggy!

Matt is currently being treated for Swine Flu and I don't feel so great either.
We'll never know if it is genuine swine Flu because they don't actually test for it anymore.
Better safe than sorry though, eh?

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Piss poor by Will Ferrell's standards.

I'm not sure I understood the ending of this film. Why did he hijack a train and hold the passengers for ransom for $10 million, if he knew about his potential stock windfall of $300 million?! Answers on a postcard please.

And All Because The Boy Finds It Funny

Baby vest head.

I dunno why, but it makes him laugh!

Typical Workplace Conversation

A customer stops about 6ft away from my window and shouts;

"Thtepth!"
"Sorry?"
"Thtepth"
"I can't hear you properly, come closer."
They come closer.
"Thtepth"
"Thepth?"
"THTEPTH! THTEPTH!"
"I'm sorry, I can't understand you."
"Tut! Your colleague thed I need to go up the thtepth and down the thtreet to get to Euthton!"

I'll have chalk this one down to experience!

Hey Fatty Boom Boom

Started a diet yesterday, it went well.
Is it just me though, or does the first day of diet always go well?
The only real problem I faced was not eating the fat off my steak. It's the best bit for fuck's sake!
Finding food that wouldn't exceed my calorie allowence was also difficult.
Never mind, I'll be lean and slender in a couple of days.
Either that or back on the pies and beer!