The Lying Bastard!

On one of my first ever driving lessons, I hit the brakes to try and avoid running over some pigeons.
Needless to say, pigeons do not require the emergency stop procedure and my driving instructor told me so.
"You will never, ever be able to run over a pigeon." He said. "They're too quick." He added.

Well, tonight, I proved him wrong!

I went to pick up some stuff from my mum's flat in preparation for her move. After turning around, I was driving through the high street when I noticed a pigeon in my path.

Remembering my instructors advice, I drove straight on.

Unfortunately, no-one informed the pigeon of the "You'll never, ever be able to run over a pigeon" line.

There was a sickening, crunchy, squelchy, popping sound from the front left of the car.
And what can only be described as a "splodge" in the road when seen from my rear view mirror.

I'm all for learning something new every day, but this.........

More Shit Music

Train: Hey, Soul Sister.

"Your lipstick stains
On the front lobe of my
Left-side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you
Blow my mind....."

WHAT??
Your left side brains?
You've got multiple brains?
And they're separated into 'left' and 'right' sections?

You're a fucking idiot.

For The Man Who Has Everything!

My Daughter!