Thursday, 21 October 2010

Oi! Fuckwit! Try This!

If you look down by your left hip, you'll see a small red button. Press the red button and your seatbelt will dis-engage. Remove your seatbelt.
Now, look to your right. Somewhere on the door is a small lever, pull it. The door moved a little didn't it? Yes, now push the door and it will fully open.
If you look down, you'll see two long bendy things. These are called legs. Swing your legs to your right and out of the door you just opened. Push yourself forward and upwards so that your weight is fully on your legs.
Now, here comes the tricky part.
Swing your left leg forwards.
And now your right leg forwards.
Now your left.
And again with the right.
This is called walking. Continue to walk until you reach the door of the person you are trying to collect.
Make your hand into a fist and knock firmly on the door and await a reply.

With practice, you'll be able to carry out this proceedure in less than a minute.

Im sure you'll agree, this is substantially less time than the 6-7 minutes you spent repeatedly beeping your fucking horn!

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