Arrgh! Or However A Painful Cry's Spelt

This afternoon, the missus met me at the station and we popped to Tesco's for a few essentials.
When we got home, we unloaded Matty and then started on the shopping.
While carrying some of the shopping in I managed to slip down the stairs at the back of my house and twist my ankle, which is just fucking typical! I live in a bungalow and the only steps on my entire property are the two that lead from the driveway to my back door.
I left it a few hours but the pain gradually increased along with some swelling, so my own personal nurse has strapped me up and told me not to be such a ladyboy.
I've had to call in sick to work for the time being (sorry lads), with a bit of luck I won't be stuck on my arse for too long as I hate feeling useless.
The only thing I'm grateful for is that it happened when I had shopping in my hands and not Matty.