Rest In Peace Aunty Lena

I just found out that my Great Aunty Lena passed away this morning.

This photo was taken in April of this year when I took my mum and Matt to visit her and Great Uncle Les. My mum was practically raised by them so this is a great loss to our family.

When my brother and me were kids, she used to send us out to the garden to look for a four leaf clover for her. We never found one.

Rest in peace Aunty Lena, I hope you find your four leaf clover.

Recently Viewed

Away We Go is an absolute must for anyone who is dealing with pregnancy. I couldn't believe how much I laughed and could relate to some of the stuff in the film. In fact, even if you're not experiencing pegnancy, it's worth a look.

Ahh, Pandorum. The illegitimate love child of Event Horizon and Alien. It's not terrible to watch, but you can't help wishing you were watching Event Horizon or Alien instead.

Seal Team VI is SHIT! Seriously, you have to watch this film to realise how shit it is. And as for the cheesiest of cheesy endings..... fuck me it's bad. Please don't take my word for it, watch it and appreciate how truly shitty this film is!

Inglourious Basterds is a very entertaining film. Historically inaccurate. Infact, it's practically raped the history books. But, entertaining none the less. Sharp knives and loud guns galore. Christoph Waltz is just sublime as Col. Hans Landa.

Are You Sure You Want To Log Off?

Yes, that's why I clicked the 8mm x 3mm "log off" icon.

Does This Really Count As An Update?

As I have absolutely nothing to report.
Unless you count; work, home, sleep.
Obviously, I try to eat during the mundane trinity that has become my life.

Currently Playing

Everybody is banging on about this game.

To be honest, I don't see a huge difference to the last game, I run around not knowing what to do and get shot/blown up alot.

Up Your Viva!

I hate this fucking advert!


But, for some reason, I love this version!

That Really Fucking Hurt!!

This evening, as I was cashing up, I had an accident.
I bundled all my bank notes together and was about to bind them
together with an elastic band. I wound the band around once and as I
pulled it to wrap it around again, it snapped and flew into my left
eye. And when I say eye, I mean I felt it ping against my eyeball. It
stung like a motherfucker, I can tell you!
I don't remember my exact words, but 'fuck', 'fucking', 'shit',
'bollocks' and 'cunt' were all mentioned at some point.
Has anyone got the number for Injury Lawyers For You?

Sent from my iPhone

Quality Film Quote #36

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breath.
Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Leg Jigglers #6

Location; Car
Source; Radio
Action; Steering wheel drumming.

I have to admit, I wasn't too sure about this song when it was first released. But, it's grown on me. Yay Foo Fighters!

Typical Workplace Conversation

Recently, the Students returned to University.
For some of them, the future's not so bright.

"Hello, can I have an application form for a Student Oyster card please?"
"No, sorry. You have to apply for a Student Oyster card on the Transport For London website."
"Can't I get a form from you?"
"No. You have to apply for a Student Oyster card on the Transport For London website."
"Why? Have you run out of forms?"
"No. You have to apply for a Student Oyster card on the Transport For London website."
"Can I get a form from another station?"
"No. You have to apply for a Student Oyster card on the Transport For London website."
"Is there a Student Oyster card application form at all?"
For fuck's sake!
"Yes."
"Where is it?"
"On the Transport For London website."
"You're not very helpful you know!"

And with that, he storms off to research why Darwin's Theory Of Evolution doesn't apply to himself.

Students, click here!

She's Mad I Tells Ya

It seems that my mum is not immune to asking stupid questions either.
I popped into town with Matty this morning and decided to ask her to come out for a coffee. I buzzed her intercom and the following conversation took place.

"Hello"
"Hey mum, it's James. What you doing?"
"Nothing, why?"
"Do you fancy going for a coffee?"
"Yeah, o.k. love. Where are you? Downstairs?"
"Well, if I'm talking to you on the intercom dickhead, I must be mustn't I?!"
"Erm, yeah. I'll come down."

Needless to say, I got a slap for calling her a dickhead!

2 Weeks Annual Leave

Last week we were on holiday near Clacton-On-Sea. I was pleased to find that we were about half an hour away. We stopped there for lunch before checking in and it was a cross between god's waiting room and chav city.
The weather was fantastic. It was slightly overcast on Thursday but it remained t-shirt weather.
We took Matty swimming in the mornings, which he loved. He also enjoyed the kids club.
We made a trip to Walton-On-The-Naze and had lunch in a traditional Pie and Mash shop. I wasn't suprised to see Matty enjoying it, after all, I grew up on the stuff. Like father, like son and all that.
All in all, it was a really nice short break.

This week I've been relaxing and enjoying the company of The Missus and Matty.
Matty's really developing quickly these days. He points at what he wants now, which has reduced the amount of guess work. He's also started trying to talk but it's all jibberish, a bit like this bloke!
It was also my 32nd birthday last weekend. On Saturday I went for a meal with family but it was difficult to enjoy as I'd had a terminal headache since 6am that morning. On Sunday I went on the piss with my dad.
The only negative point was that I had to do an early shift at work on Thursday, as I owed them a day's leave.

Back to work on Tuesday. Late shifts. Yay.

Currently Viewing

Recently Viewed

Piss poor by Jack Black's standards.

Average.

Considering it's supposed to be a comedy, it's just not funny.

Recently Read

32 Years Old

Today marks the 32nd anniversary of my birth.
I'd like to think that the world is a better place with me on it, but I guess that depends on who you ask!
I'm hoping today goes better than yesterday, when I spent the entire day with a blazing headache. It was so bad, I only managed 4 pints all day!

She's Mad I Tells Ya

So we're on the M25, heading to our holiday in St Ostyth/Clacton and the missus spots a road sign.

"Why's it called the Dartford Tunnel?"

"Erm, cos it's a tunnel in Dartford, dickhead."

A Welcome Break

Today is the first day of my 2 weeks annual leave and it couldn't have come quick enough.
I've been really run down for the last few weeks and on Wednesday, I caught a cold.
It goes without saying that I've passed the cold on to Matty, luckily it's not a nasty cold, but it's still a pain in the arse. Well, eyes, nose, throat and chest anyway!
Tomorrow, the missus, Matty and myself are leaving for a short break by the sea. I honestly can't wait. I think it's important to have a change of scenery, even if it's to the not very exotic Clacton!
It's just me and Matty today as the missus has gone to work. We were supposed to go to Andy's son's second birthday party, but have been unable to do so due to the car being needed by the missus. I apologise profusely for cancelling.
That's about it for now, I'm just transferring some films and kids T.V shows to my iPod for our break.

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Currently Reading