I imagine that the first production meeting between Harrison Ford, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg went something like this;Hello Harrison.
Hello Harrison.
Alright lads?
We've got an idea for a new Indy film.
Really? Tell me more.
It's called "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull"
Catchy title, do proceed.
Well, Indy bumps into this kid who turns out to be his son with Marion, from the first film.
Sounds unlikely.
Ray Winstone's in it.
O.K, things are looking up.
He's a secret agent.
A double agent.
A triple agent.
I think I'm gonna leave now guys, thanks anyway.
No wait, it involves the ancient Incas and their city of gold.
Good, at last it sounds a bit more "Indy" like.
There's aliens.
Sorry, what did you say?
Aliens.
Are you taking the piss. Aliens in an "Indy" film?
No, we're serious. There are aliens in this film dude.
I'm outta here. You two are a pair of cunts.
We'll pay you millions.
Fuck off!
Billions, when you count the merchandise.
I'm in, just make sure you throw in some cute animals, improbable stunts and shite jokes. And try not to make me look too old.
Utter, utter shit! I feel like I've been arse raped after watching this film.
Don't watch it in the cinema.
Don't wait for the DVD.
Don't even watch it on telly in ten years time.
Just forget it was ever made.
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4 comments:
hehe my fiancee took our lil man to see it and came back saying much the same thing ;o)
That great then, huh?
A Sad Day indeed. Should be called "Indiana Jones and the Soul Stripping Body Snatchers and Lost Script writers." Not much of ring to my title, eh? Well, the latest movie doesn't exactly have a great title either-let alone story or concept. A hollow replica money spinning studio rape.
Special mention to all those CGI Furry friends- "Caddyshack" Gophers, Tarzan shipmate Mutt monkeys Gang- FUCK OFF back to the Apple Mac you were designed on!
Get it for me for christmas then mate . Emily has just decided that she dosnt like her bed after 4 hours of putting it up and 3 days of her saying I cant wait to sleep in it ! apparently its to high shes evil i tell u just like her mother broomsticks all round !
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