Favouritism

Matthew burps;
"Oh, it's so cute when he does that!"

I burp;
"You're a fucking animal!"

Matthew farts;
"Oooh, that was a good one wasn't it?!"

I fart;
"You dirty bastard!"

Matthew pukes from drinking too much;
"Aah bless, lets wipe that up shall we?"

I puke from drinking too much;
"You're off your face again you cunt!"