Bog Seat Badness

This house has a curse.
Since we moved here four years ago, we've had five different toilet seats. I'm getting fed up of having to change them.

1; The seat that was present when we moved in was cheap and nasty so we changed it.

2; The seat we replaced it with was much nicer, but we decorated the bathroom a year later and it no longer matched.

3; The "mosaic" design seat we bought to match the bathroom lasted about two years. After this it kept coming loose and nothing I did would fix it.

4; We bought exactly the same design and this lasted a while before cracking on one side when I dropped it down to have a shit.

5; We've had the current toilet seat less than three months, now the hinge has broken.

I'm beginning to see why the previous occupants had a cheap nasty seat on the toilet in the first place.